Lunchtime yesterday I was at the checkout in Clinton Cards finding myself enjoying a little joke with the slightly balding, salt-and-pepper haired sales assistant. Upon leaving the shop Brooke exclaimed; "Is their anyone you won't flirt with?!"
I quickly jumped to my own defence, explaining that to me this was not flirting. There was definitely no suggestive jokes, no eyebrow raises, I don't think I even held eye contact (these are clearly my most obvious flirting moves). To me sharing a little joke with a checkout person/bar worker/random in a club is just polite, perhaps even a nice way to bring cheer into someones day. I would actually communicate like this to anyone. Hell, I would even strike up banter like this with a girl!
But Brooke says it was all in my tone of voice. My tone of voice was suggestive, not what I actually said. She went on to say he probably wanted to 'do me'. So firstly this got me thinking about different flirting techniques and then secondly what it means for guys vs. girls.
This is not the first time I have been labelled a massive flirt. Blondie and KK say when I am working behind the bar there isn't a man in the goddam place that I do not flirt with. This is the girl who nine months ago didn't even know how to flirt, I woudn't have even recognised if I was being flirted with. Clearly I have come along way.
OK, so techniques. Well as I discoverd yesterday tone of voice is a biggy; it's not what you say it's how you say it. For example, the following phrases I say quite frequently at the pub and they tend to raise a little smirk on the face of the man of choice; "Would you like a large one?" "How are your nuts?" and my personal favourite "Would you like something to nibble on whilst you wait?". I suppose I say all of the above with a hint of sarcastic, sometimes dead-pan and almost always with an underlying presence of sweet and innocence. Perhaps that's the recipe for the tone of voice flirt.
Along with tone of voice there is the very often discussed form of flirting; banter. I first came across 'banter' in my second year of uni. SR began major flirts with the rugby boys and inparticular the rugby captain and often told us how much she loved his 'banter'. 'Banter' was discussed so much that the rest of us girls couldn't bare to hear the word even whispered by the time we reached our end of year exams. But 'banter' has recently made a come back. KK even messaged me yesterday to say she had been flirting with a couple of 18 year olds; 'Not to sound big headed but I think my best pulling skill is my banter', Of course it is, good 'banter' out weighs everything else. I like to think anyone could woo David Beckham with good 'banter' even if you were wearing your sweaty old pj pants, most favourite holey vest top, with no bra.
Obviously there are a load of other techniques, most of which I am still completely unaware of. Here are a few good'uns:
Eye Contact - love this, especially when the other person feels a little uncomfortable or they lose their train of thought. Do try, it's hilar.
Hair Twizzling - I am frequently accused of pulling this move but in fact I have an undiagnosed, uncontrollable anxiety disorder which means I am constantly twlizzling and pulling out my hair. Therefore tread carefully this one.
Negging - obviously learnt to us from Neil Strus and his book The Game. Insulting your boy or girl of choice just enough for them to think your not interested. It will drive them a little mad thinking that your not at all interested and everyone knows the age old beast of wanting things you can't have...
So is flirting different for guys vs. girls? I think so. I believe girls flirt a lot. I am definitely guilty of flirting with waiters (one particular visit to Pizza Express with my oldest bestie springs to mind - I saved us a tenner on the bill!), car mechanics ('could someone help me with my car?' cue the hair twizzle and the eye contact) and I even like to flirt with the geeky boys who come in the pub because I like to think it makes them feel good.
Guys on the other hand I am not sure. Obviously there are the extremes; the guys who flirt with anything moving vs. the guys who can't even look at a women. But, I believe if a guy is flirting with you then he kinda is interested. Correct me if I am wrong but I believe a guy wouldn't bother to be witty, charming and even think of things to say to a girl who he wouldn't want to get with. It's that simple.
Guys don't use flirting to save money on restaurant bills for the risk of looking like a cheapskate, they wouldn't play the damsel-in-distress card to car mechanics for the risk of looking 'gay' and they definitely wouldn't flirt with the geeky looking girls just to make them feel good. They flirt to get their end away. It's the he's-just-not-that-into-you rule.
Wednesday 28 November 2012
Monday 26 November 2012
Game free? Well almost
So where were you at six o'clock on Saturday night when I SOS text KK and Blondie;
Seriously, this family/baby shindig really isn't my scene. I'm guna have to get wasted tonight
I was mid family get-together, where conversation revolved around dirty nappies, X Factor and boring married life. This was when I could even hold a conversation over all the screaming children. I have nothing in common with these people, someone please ask me about something normal. You know, what my thoughts are on the new Marvelle baby announcement perhaps or what my preference is; Brazilian or Hollywood.
Therefore, I am sure you will agree that I had no choice but to rush home as soon as I could, swing by Tesco for a bottle of Chardonnay and down two thirds of it before the girls were even round. By 1130 I happily found myself at the bar in the Rose ordering the second round of Jaegerbombs.
I did quite good Monday to Wednesday. I did actually feel like a hermit at the beginning of the week; work, home, bed, work, home, bed and so on. Thursday night I was working, that cannot be helped and also, I sort of get paid to flirt with the boys so that's fine. By Friday I was knackered but was seeing Mr Robbie Williams at the O2 so obviously made the effort. By the time Saturday came I felt like I needed the comforting crowds of The Rose; I feel at home in my towering heels with a face full of makeup and a belly full of wine.
I had quite good game too actually. I was full of confidence and got talking to some good looking boys, striking up conversation about the length of time they spent blow-drying their immaculate barnets. When KK suggested Embassy (think Save the Last Dance but with a lower ceiling and lots of blue strobe lighting) I thought it was a fabulous idea!
And it was. I had a really good night. Do you know why? I couldn't have cared less. I wasn't bothered about trying to look good or making the eyes across the crowded dance floor. Screw it. Screw them! If they are interested let them make the move.
This sort of brings me on to a little bit of boy gossip; this one I think I actually like a little but I have to tread very carefully - the ones I like never work out. Therefore I am going to keep it very vague, in the hope to save my embarrassment when it doesn't work out. I am getting very mixed signals of off one boy; clear IOIs one minute then nothing the next. I am confused. My game knowledge is causing even more confusion, therefore I am continuing to play it cool. Will keep you posted here. It's still very early days.
Seriously, this family/baby shindig really isn't my scene. I'm guna have to get wasted tonight
I was mid family get-together, where conversation revolved around dirty nappies, X Factor and boring married life. This was when I could even hold a conversation over all the screaming children. I have nothing in common with these people, someone please ask me about something normal. You know, what my thoughts are on the new Marvelle baby announcement perhaps or what my preference is; Brazilian or Hollywood.
Therefore, I am sure you will agree that I had no choice but to rush home as soon as I could, swing by Tesco for a bottle of Chardonnay and down two thirds of it before the girls were even round. By 1130 I happily found myself at the bar in the Rose ordering the second round of Jaegerbombs.
I did quite good Monday to Wednesday. I did actually feel like a hermit at the beginning of the week; work, home, bed, work, home, bed and so on. Thursday night I was working, that cannot be helped and also, I sort of get paid to flirt with the boys so that's fine. By Friday I was knackered but was seeing Mr Robbie Williams at the O2 so obviously made the effort. By the time Saturday came I felt like I needed the comforting crowds of The Rose; I feel at home in my towering heels with a face full of makeup and a belly full of wine.
I had quite good game too actually. I was full of confidence and got talking to some good looking boys, striking up conversation about the length of time they spent blow-drying their immaculate barnets. When KK suggested Embassy (think Save the Last Dance but with a lower ceiling and lots of blue strobe lighting) I thought it was a fabulous idea!
And it was. I had a really good night. Do you know why? I couldn't have cared less. I wasn't bothered about trying to look good or making the eyes across the crowded dance floor. Screw it. Screw them! If they are interested let them make the move.
This sort of brings me on to a little bit of boy gossip; this one I think I actually like a little but I have to tread very carefully - the ones I like never work out. Therefore I am going to keep it very vague, in the hope to save my embarrassment when it doesn't work out. I am getting very mixed signals of off one boy; clear IOIs one minute then nothing the next. I am confused. My game knowledge is causing even more confusion, therefore I am continuing to play it cool. Will keep you posted here. It's still very early days.
Monday 19 November 2012
Going on Game Va-kay
So I had a fairly event free weekend. We went out in to town on Saturday night, making it the tenth weekend in a row we have inhabited The Rose and had the obligatory weekend Jaegerbomb. I wasn't really feeling it though. I don't think any of us were.
Blondie spent Saturday-day at some family do, always a drain on the emotions. KK started the evening at an Ann Summers party then met up with an old gal pal, aka The Ultimate FPUA. We met up with KK at about 11, she was well on her way to drunk, however by 1:30 myself and Blondie were in the taxi home, armed with a footlong subway and a big-long rant about our favourite subject - boys. Sunday KK visited me at work looking a little down; she appeared to have the same attitude towards the night as me.
I don't know why we have all had a change of heart. There was FB inbox chat about the Game having beaten us, but I like to look upon it like we are just taking a holiday. I think I need a rest from the boy-thing, time to chill-out and not obsess about my next move or his. I feel like I need a little time to re-coup, slow down and do a little me time. I can't say I am not going to flirt - it appears I have become a natural at this, but I am not seeking boys out, texting or FB chatting. Nope, boy-free zone. Instead, this week I will mainly be; writing my Christmas cards, watching Home and Away and ironing.God knows where I will get my inspiration from to write this.
I have even decided not to go out next weekend. Asides from the feeling no game thing I think it might be good for the bank balance too, not least forgetting my liver. Perhaps a few quiet weekends will do wonders for our game, perhaps the next time we go to the Rose all our game super powers will have mounted up and we will have the most amazingly successful night.
I might need to ask a favour of you? Next Saturday night, at about 11, can you make sure I'm not in a taxi heading into town?
Blondie spent Saturday-day at some family do, always a drain on the emotions. KK started the evening at an Ann Summers party then met up with an old gal pal, aka The Ultimate FPUA. We met up with KK at about 11, she was well on her way to drunk, however by 1:30 myself and Blondie were in the taxi home, armed with a footlong subway and a big-long rant about our favourite subject - boys. Sunday KK visited me at work looking a little down; she appeared to have the same attitude towards the night as me.
I don't know why we have all had a change of heart. There was FB inbox chat about the Game having beaten us, but I like to look upon it like we are just taking a holiday. I think I need a rest from the boy-thing, time to chill-out and not obsess about my next move or his. I feel like I need a little time to re-coup, slow down and do a little me time. I can't say I am not going to flirt - it appears I have become a natural at this, but I am not seeking boys out, texting or FB chatting. Nope, boy-free zone. Instead, this week I will mainly be; writing my Christmas cards, watching Home and Away and ironing.God knows where I will get my inspiration from to write this.
I have even decided not to go out next weekend. Asides from the feeling no game thing I think it might be good for the bank balance too, not least forgetting my liver. Perhaps a few quiet weekends will do wonders for our game, perhaps the next time we go to the Rose all our game super powers will have mounted up and we will have the most amazingly successful night.
I might need to ask a favour of you? Next Saturday night, at about 11, can you make sure I'm not in a taxi heading into town?
Thursday 15 November 2012
The new rules of dating
I've been meaning to post some sort of dating guide for the 21st century for sometime. Not that I'm a genius in this area, obviously, but all these new fangle-dangle forms of communication have definitely thrown up some new ways of doing things.
During my most impressionable teenage years I spent a lot of my time involving myself in the dating conversations of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. They spent hours deliberating across morning-after brunch over weather to call the guy or not - this was long before texting, facebook and probably even mobile phones. Back in the day if you broke up with someone you probably had a good chance of never seeing them again, EVER. Nowadays every newly single person finds themselves at the do-I-delete-them-on-facebook crossroads. All these new social issues is what has inspired me to look into the new rules of dating; it's a dating evolution.
The first very important rule is Facebook. Facebook is actually quite a good tool as you can use it for various different flirting methods. I have been known to refer to facebook as my very own match.com. It's fantastic for flirting, it really really is.
Firstly there is the stalking. Facebook stalking is the secret guilty pleasure for everyone with a FB page. This is probably the sole reason we're all on the flippin' thing, well that and to show off how witty you are and how amazing you look pouting in pictures before your night out (just me?). Through a good stalking session you can remind yourself what he looks like, check out his fit friends/ex-girlfriend and see where he went on holiday in 2010.
If the stalking is successful this leads on to the friend request/not request dilemma. I have previously stated that I tend not to add boys on FB. To be honest, the boys I have come across of late are all too eager to do the adding. Regardless of weather you add/accept/not add/decline you can still partake in what I think is the best tool on FB for flirting; the inbox message.
Inboxing is soo good these days. With all this smart phone nonsense, getting an inbox message is pretty much the same as texting only you've side-stepped the awkward number swap scenario. I love a good inbox flirt; it's noncommittal, quick and just soo bloody easy!
Asides from the traditional phonecall, texting is probably the oldest form of flirting these days. Don't get me wrong I love a text flirt too; a well formed witty text with a winky face thrown in is probably my staple move. More recently I have discovered that the wait-twenty-minutes-before-replying thing no longer stands. Texting has got fast and short. Oh god, I don't even know where to begin on the put a kiss/not put a kiss, I think that's your call.
Over the last few years, there have been new additions to these mobile messaging shenanigans, this in the form of BBM, Whatsapp, Viber... the list is probably getting longer as a type. The down side of these app forms of instant messaging is most have the facility to tell if someone has read your message and not replied; talk about encouraging you to turn into that psycho girl you try so desperately not to be; 'I know Luke has read my message - why has he not replied? WHY?!'
On the plus side, these free instant messaging services enable you to also send pictures. The days of paying £1.50 to send an MMS message from your old Nokia 3310 are over. Why pay when you can send a saucy snap over BBM and follow it up with a raised-eyebrow smiley for free?! Happy days. Perhaps this was the real reason behind Blackberry developing this application. But please be warned, if your sending a new guy snaps (which they are increasingly asking for BTW) be wary about including your face in the frame; it's much easier to deny that it is actually you if it's just your boobs. Well, that is unless everyone knows about your third nipple, if that is the case then your fucked.
During my most impressionable teenage years I spent a lot of my time involving myself in the dating conversations of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. They spent hours deliberating across morning-after brunch over weather to call the guy or not - this was long before texting, facebook and probably even mobile phones. Back in the day if you broke up with someone you probably had a good chance of never seeing them again, EVER. Nowadays every newly single person finds themselves at the do-I-delete-them-on-facebook crossroads. All these new social issues is what has inspired me to look into the new rules of dating; it's a dating evolution.
The first very important rule is Facebook. Facebook is actually quite a good tool as you can use it for various different flirting methods. I have been known to refer to facebook as my very own match.com. It's fantastic for flirting, it really really is.
Firstly there is the stalking. Facebook stalking is the secret guilty pleasure for everyone with a FB page. This is probably the sole reason we're all on the flippin' thing, well that and to show off how witty you are and how amazing you look pouting in pictures before your night out (just me?). Through a good stalking session you can remind yourself what he looks like, check out his fit friends/ex-girlfriend and see where he went on holiday in 2010.
If the stalking is successful this leads on to the friend request/not request dilemma. I have previously stated that I tend not to add boys on FB. To be honest, the boys I have come across of late are all too eager to do the adding. Regardless of weather you add/accept/not add/decline you can still partake in what I think is the best tool on FB for flirting; the inbox message.
Inboxing is soo good these days. With all this smart phone nonsense, getting an inbox message is pretty much the same as texting only you've side-stepped the awkward number swap scenario. I love a good inbox flirt; it's noncommittal, quick and just soo bloody easy!
Asides from the traditional phonecall, texting is probably the oldest form of flirting these days. Don't get me wrong I love a text flirt too; a well formed witty text with a winky face thrown in is probably my staple move. More recently I have discovered that the wait-twenty-minutes-before-replying thing no longer stands. Texting has got fast and short. Oh god, I don't even know where to begin on the put a kiss/not put a kiss, I think that's your call.
Over the last few years, there have been new additions to these mobile messaging shenanigans, this in the form of BBM, Whatsapp, Viber... the list is probably getting longer as a type. The down side of these app forms of instant messaging is most have the facility to tell if someone has read your message and not replied; talk about encouraging you to turn into that psycho girl you try so desperately not to be; 'I know Luke has read my message - why has he not replied? WHY?!'
On the plus side, these free instant messaging services enable you to also send pictures. The days of paying £1.50 to send an MMS message from your old Nokia 3310 are over. Why pay when you can send a saucy snap over BBM and follow it up with a raised-eyebrow smiley for free?! Happy days. Perhaps this was the real reason behind Blackberry developing this application. But please be warned, if your sending a new guy snaps (which they are increasingly asking for BTW) be wary about including your face in the frame; it's much easier to deny that it is actually you if it's just your boobs. Well, that is unless everyone knows about your third nipple, if that is the case then your fucked.
Tuesday 13 November 2012
I get pierced!
Don't panic, nothing too scary - just my upper ear, but by-god was I a wimp about it. I thought I was being wild and spontaneous; it wasn't even planned, I was just supposed to be accompanying Blondie. We visited KK at her place of work on Saturday afternoon, she works for a high steet jewellers that also pierces teenagers, and babies, teeny tiny ears. I was merely meant to be holding the bags whilst Blondie sat anxiously on the chair in the window. But after seeing Blondie act so cool and collected (at which I was very impressed) I thought; I need to be cool and spontaneous and get this done too.
After half an hour of persuasion from Blondie and KK, and a few random people loitering in the shop, I gave KK the green light and she butchered, erm I mean pierced my ear. It actually didn't hurt at all. I immediately regretted the massive fuss I had been making, hopped off the stool and began strutting around the shop thinking about cool I was. Shame another piercing wasn't on my 30 Things list.
Speaking of which I need to tick a few things off, perhaps I should make it my mission to do this by the end of the year. There are a few of which I am working on...
6. Ride a motorbike
A guy from the pub is a keen motorcyclist - he has said he would show me the ropes. I've just got to be proactive about it and take him up on the offer.
9. Snog a teenager - probably do this every Saturday night, oh well, snog thousands of teenagers?!
Well this still stands although I am probably right, I think I do this most Saturdays, but until I know for sure he is under 20 it will not count. Ah well, best keep on chatting up those young'uns.
16. Be confident with my body for once in my life - pose for naked snaps!
Who hasn't done this?! Perhaps I should take this a little further and vow to get them printed and posted all around my flat in the style of Kim Kardashian. I look just as good as her right?
20. Win money on the lottery - gotta be in it to win it
Involving myself in the syndicate at work for the Euromillions. We have actually won a little but nothing worthy of ticking this off the list for.
21. Give blood
The blood donation people were visiting my local area the other weekend. I did have a lengthy thinking session about it but concluded that it was too soon - I'm still too much of a wimp. Next time, I promise.
After half an hour of persuasion from Blondie and KK, and a few random people loitering in the shop, I gave KK the green light and she butchered, erm I mean pierced my ear. It actually didn't hurt at all. I immediately regretted the massive fuss I had been making, hopped off the stool and began strutting around the shop thinking about cool I was. Shame another piercing wasn't on my 30 Things list.
Speaking of which I need to tick a few things off, perhaps I should make it my mission to do this by the end of the year. There are a few of which I am working on...
6. Ride a motorbike
A guy from the pub is a keen motorcyclist - he has said he would show me the ropes. I've just got to be proactive about it and take him up on the offer.
9. Snog a teenager - probably do this every Saturday night, oh well, snog thousands of teenagers?!
Well this still stands although I am probably right, I think I do this most Saturdays, but until I know for sure he is under 20 it will not count. Ah well, best keep on chatting up those young'uns.
16. Be confident with my body for once in my life - pose for naked snaps!
Who hasn't done this?! Perhaps I should take this a little further and vow to get them printed and posted all around my flat in the style of Kim Kardashian. I look just as good as her right?
20. Win money on the lottery - gotta be in it to win it
Involving myself in the syndicate at work for the Euromillions. We have actually won a little but nothing worthy of ticking this off the list for.
21. Give blood
The blood donation people were visiting my local area the other weekend. I did have a lengthy thinking session about it but concluded that it was too soon - I'm still too much of a wimp. Next time, I promise.
Monday 12 November 2012
And it's Monday again. Time flies...
I was on fire Friday night. My year-ago self would not have recognised me!
The usual pub crew came in and bought with them brand new fresh meat. Really fit fresh meat an' all, one of them was actually beautiful. His body was amazing; incredible arms, tasty tattoos, great hair and gorgeous teeth. He was so fit that I wasn't even embarrassed by the tiny amount of drooling I was doing whilst peering at him over the top of the wine menu.
I knew I had to get talking to them, I had a great opening line because we had a mutual connection, but I was on my own without my back up (in the form of my gal pals) and stone cold sober. I went over their way to 'clean the bar' whilst contemplating what to say. I tried to remember the last time mega hot guys actually came in the pub. I settled on never and went for my opening line...
Referring to a conversation we had had a little earlier on; 'So, if you don't go out in Bedford where do you go out?'. OK, pretty lame but it bloody worked, we got talking. They go out in Hitchin, live in Biggleswade and turn out to be the brother of one of the regular guys. Before I even knew it I had pulled up a bar stool, already inspected the really fit ones tattoos and found them inviting themselves to my New Year party. Good move me. My confidence was sky high.
I think I flew home Friday night. Once home I immediately facebooked the girls; Girls, u have unleashed a demon, I was on fucking fire tonight
When I went into work yesterday one of the guys I work with asked if I got any of their numbers. I explained to my in-a-relationship-for-five-years work colleague that this wasn't the way of doing things anymore, number-schmumber, it is all about facebook these days. Although, I haven't even got to the facebook stage yet either, but I did put in some very good ground-work. Perhaps this is evidence of my all or nothing training in action? Have I just had a break through?
In other news, I had quite a bit of texting action. I was liasing with Oil a little bit. To mine and the girls disgust he text me this on Friday; Heyup lovecat! At a wedding tomorrow so staying clear of Deadford this week. I'm guessing ull be out in force?xxx
The girls response went exactly like this:
KK: Oh my fucking god. I need to stop defending him!!
Blondie: Lol what a dweeb
I gave him the BOD and he did redeem himself over the next few texts. Turns out he's going to be out next week so we'll see what happens there. I also heard from a new boy Jumper Josh. Met him out a few weekends in a row, the last time I saw him his friend came up to me with the god awful line of: My mate over there really fancies you. I can't remember my response but I shouldn't imagine it was good. Anyhoo, at the end of last week I had a friend request from him - very odd considering I didn't know he knew my name; I certainly didn't know his. I inboxed him; Hi boy from The Rose, should I be worried how you found me on fb? He responded saying something about me being tagged in some of the pictures on The Rose' facebook - another new form of media for this game milarky.
Jumper Josh said he was going out Saturday night but I didn't see him. I wasn't too fussed. He messaged me yesterday asking if I did actually go out - quite eager-beaver. Myself and the girls FB stalked him last night in the pub and he does have very fit friends so I gave him the BOD too and chatted a little more. He asked me out for a drink but I thought that could have been a little odd. I softened the let down by saying I'd be in town next weekend and gave him by number.
So all in all quite a bit of action for me and I haven't even thought about what my babies would look like with any of these boys. Nice work!
The usual pub crew came in and bought with them brand new fresh meat. Really fit fresh meat an' all, one of them was actually beautiful. His body was amazing; incredible arms, tasty tattoos, great hair and gorgeous teeth. He was so fit that I wasn't even embarrassed by the tiny amount of drooling I was doing whilst peering at him over the top of the wine menu.
I knew I had to get talking to them, I had a great opening line because we had a mutual connection, but I was on my own without my back up (in the form of my gal pals) and stone cold sober. I went over their way to 'clean the bar' whilst contemplating what to say. I tried to remember the last time mega hot guys actually came in the pub. I settled on never and went for my opening line...
Referring to a conversation we had had a little earlier on; 'So, if you don't go out in Bedford where do you go out?'. OK, pretty lame but it bloody worked, we got talking. They go out in Hitchin, live in Biggleswade and turn out to be the brother of one of the regular guys. Before I even knew it I had pulled up a bar stool, already inspected the really fit ones tattoos and found them inviting themselves to my New Year party. Good move me. My confidence was sky high.
I think I flew home Friday night. Once home I immediately facebooked the girls; Girls, u have unleashed a demon, I was on fucking fire tonight
When I went into work yesterday one of the guys I work with asked if I got any of their numbers. I explained to my in-a-relationship-for-five-years work colleague that this wasn't the way of doing things anymore, number-schmumber, it is all about facebook these days. Although, I haven't even got to the facebook stage yet either, but I did put in some very good ground-work. Perhaps this is evidence of my all or nothing training in action? Have I just had a break through?
In other news, I had quite a bit of texting action. I was liasing with Oil a little bit. To mine and the girls disgust he text me this on Friday; Heyup lovecat! At a wedding tomorrow so staying clear of Deadford this week. I'm guessing ull be out in force?xxx
The girls response went exactly like this:
KK: Oh my fucking god. I need to stop defending him!!
Blondie: Lol what a dweeb
I gave him the BOD and he did redeem himself over the next few texts. Turns out he's going to be out next week so we'll see what happens there. I also heard from a new boy Jumper Josh. Met him out a few weekends in a row, the last time I saw him his friend came up to me with the god awful line of: My mate over there really fancies you. I can't remember my response but I shouldn't imagine it was good. Anyhoo, at the end of last week I had a friend request from him - very odd considering I didn't know he knew my name; I certainly didn't know his. I inboxed him; Hi boy from The Rose, should I be worried how you found me on fb? He responded saying something about me being tagged in some of the pictures on The Rose' facebook - another new form of media for this game milarky.
Jumper Josh said he was going out Saturday night but I didn't see him. I wasn't too fussed. He messaged me yesterday asking if I did actually go out - quite eager-beaver. Myself and the girls FB stalked him last night in the pub and he does have very fit friends so I gave him the BOD too and chatted a little more. He asked me out for a drink but I thought that could have been a little odd. I softened the let down by saying I'd be in town next weekend and gave him by number.
So all in all quite a bit of action for me and I haven't even thought about what my babies would look like with any of these boys. Nice work!
Thursday 8 November 2012
All or nothing
That pretty much sums me up. Food, boys, emotions, wine; I can swing from nothing to everything in the space of 3 seconds. My imagination just runs away from me, it always has.
You know that stereotype in the movies of the girl who meets the guy then imagines walking down the aisle to dum-dum-de-dum? Yea, well I hate to confess this but that is totally me. I suffer horrendously with boy-bipolar. In one short blog post I am pretty much ruining all those hours the sane women of this world have put in demolishing this stereotype.
To give myself a little bit of credit (and to try to earn a little more respect from you) I am not entirely crazy. I do play the whole I-am-totally-not-in-to-you card, usually just after the I-dont-even-know-who-you-are card; I refuse to talk to them, notice them or even give them eye contact. That I am actually very good at. Probably too good. I think this move of mine was the main reason for my very long dry spell after Mr Rebelious. You see, extremes I am very good at; all or nothing.
I do actually think that I am improving with this though, perhaps it's all my Game training. I can now be texting a guy, maybe even dating a guy and not be thinking too far ahead. But everyday's a struggle, once an alcoholic...
I think I am actively going to work on this. I have recently been thinking about meeting up with this Oil guy just to detract from other potential love interests, you know, keeping my options open. Perhaps then I won't find myself going all lady-psycho, after all no one finds that attractive. This all or nothing thing is definitely going to turn into more of a sliding scale. I'll keep you posted.
You know that stereotype in the movies of the girl who meets the guy then imagines walking down the aisle to dum-dum-de-dum? Yea, well I hate to confess this but that is totally me. I suffer horrendously with boy-bipolar. In one short blog post I am pretty much ruining all those hours the sane women of this world have put in demolishing this stereotype.
To give myself a little bit of credit (and to try to earn a little more respect from you) I am not entirely crazy. I do play the whole I-am-totally-not-in-to-you card, usually just after the I-dont-even-know-who-you-are card; I refuse to talk to them, notice them or even give them eye contact. That I am actually very good at. Probably too good. I think this move of mine was the main reason for my very long dry spell after Mr Rebelious. You see, extremes I am very good at; all or nothing.
I do actually think that I am improving with this though, perhaps it's all my Game training. I can now be texting a guy, maybe even dating a guy and not be thinking too far ahead. But everyday's a struggle, once an alcoholic...
I think I am actively going to work on this. I have recently been thinking about meeting up with this Oil guy just to detract from other potential love interests, you know, keeping my options open. Perhaps then I won't find myself going all lady-psycho, after all no one finds that attractive. This all or nothing thing is definitely going to turn into more of a sliding scale. I'll keep you posted.
Wednesday 7 November 2012
Our Research into The Game
If you have been hiding under a rock these past couple of months (or perhaps not read any of my previous posts) you might not be aware of the research myself and my fellow FPUAs have been undergoing. Since reading The Game by Neil Strauss we have been putting his tips and tricks into practise. Yes, his book is aimed at men picking up women but we have been exploring which practises can be transferred over to women picking up men and which cannot.
Since entering the world of the male PUA (pick up artist) we have learnt to recognise all those little games boys play when trying to get into your pants. It's quite fun because you can spot them anywhere; I can't watch a Hollywood rom-com without witnessing one or more of a PUAs move. Not only do we put into practise these methods but we also hold involuntary focus groups with the many boys we come across. Obviously they are completely unaware of their contribution to our research therefore making our work highly unethical. Oh well.
We have actually learnt a lot by just talking to these boys and everyone sharing their experiences. For instance, last weekend they appeared shocked when myself and KK were discussing our Friday night out, in which I told a story of approaching a guy on the dance floor. KK's Jumper Boy responded 'You actually go up to guys?', myself and KK replied 'Yea, of course. They don't come up to us!'. The boys carried on to explain that they have never had a girl come up to them on a night out. Strange. We now think it normal practise to approach a guy, although sometimes this doesn't really work out to plan... (if you are intrigued you might want to read about my epic fail last Friday evening; but be warned, it's quite a gruesome story).
It was also discussed a few weeks ago that some guys have exceptional high standards when it comes to their ladies now, mainly because of all the glossy images of nudy girls in the media and the perfectly formed private parts of porn stars. Funny, I never thought I would mention the phrase 'high standards' and 'perfect' in the same phrase as porn stars. Anyway, this was why I was a little shocked to come across this article on the Daily Mail today whilst munching on my cheese sandwich at lunchtime.
For those of you who do not know Tracey Cox, she is THE sexpert, appearing on highly intellectual TV programmes such as This Morning and Big Brother. In her latest blog post she explains why she believes men to prefer average looking women as opposed to hot ones, mainly because it makes them feel insecure. How odd? This goes completely against our findings. Perhaps we need to bring this up at our next focus group.
Other things we have learnt through discussing Game tactics with these boys are;
Bums are the new boobs - if the face is alright it goes boobs then bum, bum being the deal breaker
Some boys think about getting their GF's knocked up to keep them - it's true, one of them actually confessed to thinking about this
Sleeping with hookers is actually quite common - ok, so maybe not common but definitely the thing to do in Amsterdam
Nipples are a big issue - their own of course; too big, too small, too camouflaged
Since entering the world of the male PUA (pick up artist) we have learnt to recognise all those little games boys play when trying to get into your pants. It's quite fun because you can spot them anywhere; I can't watch a Hollywood rom-com without witnessing one or more of a PUAs move. Not only do we put into practise these methods but we also hold involuntary focus groups with the many boys we come across. Obviously they are completely unaware of their contribution to our research therefore making our work highly unethical. Oh well.
We have actually learnt a lot by just talking to these boys and everyone sharing their experiences. For instance, last weekend they appeared shocked when myself and KK were discussing our Friday night out, in which I told a story of approaching a guy on the dance floor. KK's Jumper Boy responded 'You actually go up to guys?', myself and KK replied 'Yea, of course. They don't come up to us!'. The boys carried on to explain that they have never had a girl come up to them on a night out. Strange. We now think it normal practise to approach a guy, although sometimes this doesn't really work out to plan... (if you are intrigued you might want to read about my epic fail last Friday evening; but be warned, it's quite a gruesome story).
It was also discussed a few weeks ago that some guys have exceptional high standards when it comes to their ladies now, mainly because of all the glossy images of nudy girls in the media and the perfectly formed private parts of porn stars. Funny, I never thought I would mention the phrase 'high standards' and 'perfect' in the same phrase as porn stars. Anyway, this was why I was a little shocked to come across this article on the Daily Mail today whilst munching on my cheese sandwich at lunchtime.
For those of you who do not know Tracey Cox, she is THE sexpert, appearing on highly intellectual TV programmes such as This Morning and Big Brother. In her latest blog post she explains why she believes men to prefer average looking women as opposed to hot ones, mainly because it makes them feel insecure. How odd? This goes completely against our findings. Perhaps we need to bring this up at our next focus group.
Other things we have learnt through discussing Game tactics with these boys are;
Bums are the new boobs - if the face is alright it goes boobs then bum, bum being the deal breaker
Some boys think about getting their GF's knocked up to keep them - it's true, one of them actually confessed to thinking about this
Sleeping with hookers is actually quite common - ok, so maybe not common but definitely the thing to do in Amsterdam
Nipples are a big issue - their own of course; too big, too small, too camouflaged
Monday 5 November 2012
Game vs. no game
I meant to post this on Saturday but I think I was too shamed to finish the post, but here goes anyway. Be warned, please do not judge me...
Last night's antics are definitely worth a post. As usual Blondie and KK came and sat at the bar with a bottle of wine whilst I attempted to work at the pub. Whilst starting on their second bottle the idea of a spontaneous night out was discussed. My little brain went into overdrive; what time could I finish work? How would the girls get home? What the hell was I going to wear?
At 1030 I signed off my beer pulling duties and bundled the girls into my car. I sped home, stopping off at KK's and Blondie's to pick up heels and handbags. By 1130 we were in town.
To start with it was quite refreshing to be in town sober. Obviously it was a bit trickier to walk in the gigantic heels but it was quite interesting observing the drunk ones with a little bit of sober-smugness.
After swinging by the bar on our way in we headed to the dance floor. When I say the dance floor in the Rose I mean a tiny postage stamp sized raised area, crammed with drunk perverts and lots of 18 year old girls. Pretty much straight away I spotted DW but being sober I was quite clear headed about the whole situation. After his ignoring-me-but-saying-hello-to-the-girls move I smiled and waved, he responded by sticking his tongue out at me. Later, Blondie said this definitely was a sign that he wanted to do me.
Meanwhile, KK spotted that Jordan guy from last week. He came over at one point and attempted to get her attention by tapping her on the shoulder, KK completely ignored him. KK has great game. We boogied for a bit, KK kept insisting DW couldn't stop staring at my bum, a drunk Blondie completely oblivious to anything that was going on.
I was determined not to go up to him but his game is just too good. After a while I found myself alone on the dance floor so of course I headed over. Now, I think I am pretty quick witted and good with the banter, but oh no, not with him. I actually think he out witted me and that very rarely happens. After some flirty chit chat during which he referred to my knockers he gestured to the bar and said he was off to find his friends. Awkward.
A bit later on and back on the dance floor I found myself talking to a couple of other guys (not at the same time obviously, although that would demonstrate amazing game). The first guy started up convo by telling me I was 'a very confident women', something which I really wasn't feeling last night and the other confessed within the first 3 seconds of meeting him that he was 35 and had two children. Both these guys had no confidence and no game whatsoever, and of course I was just not interested. Thing is both guys were cute but cute just does not cut it, its gotta be hot!
In my vodka fuelled hazed I actually thought how ironic this situation was; I was like these two game-less men when it came to DW. I don't even know what's so great about him anyway, as KK pointed out he has an odd shaped nose. It's his game that I found myself totally attracted to.
Armed with a very false sense of confidence I marched straight up to DW, grabbed his arm and spun him round and said... nothing. He looked at me blankly and quite politely gestured that he hadn't heard me. Still I stood there and said nothing. Oh the shame. After about 3/4 minutes of this very awkward encounter (in front of all of his friends may I add) he said; "I'm just going for a piss, is this alright?". Oh it just got worse. I gestured something along the lines of "Oh yea, that's fine" and slunk off red faced back to the girls.
I tired telling my by now very drunk FPUA all about what had just happened but it wasn't really sinking in, so for dramatic effect I finished my story to them with "I just want to kill myself". Give me some credit though, I had the balls to stay until the end of the night and I avoided the drunk trip to the takeaway.
Saturday, I got to thinking about this game malarkey. It is so interesting. DW pulled many a Neil Straus move on me. Firstly he negged me; talking to both the girls but not me, then he did the trick of walking away for me to follow and quite obviously his best move was to completely ignore me to the point of which I think it is a fantastic idea to approach him first. Thing is, myself and my fellow FPUAs are unsure what now to do with our new fountain of knowledge. Do we play into the hands of these guys and their PUA skills, after all we are all after the same outcome or do we do the complete opposite and throw them off their game but risk missing out on an opportunity with this guy. The jury is still out. Perhaps we need to road test our options next weekend.
I am not going to lie. My game confidence took a little bit of a knock on Friday night and I was feeling a little battered. I had said to the girls that I was going to lay off it for a while whilst I restored my ego, but I found myself displaying amazing game at the pub yesterday. Don't they say your supposed to get right back on the horse?
Last night's antics are definitely worth a post. As usual Blondie and KK came and sat at the bar with a bottle of wine whilst I attempted to work at the pub. Whilst starting on their second bottle the idea of a spontaneous night out was discussed. My little brain went into overdrive; what time could I finish work? How would the girls get home? What the hell was I going to wear?
At 1030 I signed off my beer pulling duties and bundled the girls into my car. I sped home, stopping off at KK's and Blondie's to pick up heels and handbags. By 1130 we were in town.
To start with it was quite refreshing to be in town sober. Obviously it was a bit trickier to walk in the gigantic heels but it was quite interesting observing the drunk ones with a little bit of sober-smugness.
After swinging by the bar on our way in we headed to the dance floor. When I say the dance floor in the Rose I mean a tiny postage stamp sized raised area, crammed with drunk perverts and lots of 18 year old girls. Pretty much straight away I spotted DW but being sober I was quite clear headed about the whole situation. After his ignoring-me-but-saying-hello-to-the-girls move I smiled and waved, he responded by sticking his tongue out at me. Later, Blondie said this definitely was a sign that he wanted to do me.
Meanwhile, KK spotted that Jordan guy from last week. He came over at one point and attempted to get her attention by tapping her on the shoulder, KK completely ignored him. KK has great game. We boogied for a bit, KK kept insisting DW couldn't stop staring at my bum, a drunk Blondie completely oblivious to anything that was going on.
I was determined not to go up to him but his game is just too good. After a while I found myself alone on the dance floor so of course I headed over. Now, I think I am pretty quick witted and good with the banter, but oh no, not with him. I actually think he out witted me and that very rarely happens. After some flirty chit chat during which he referred to my knockers he gestured to the bar and said he was off to find his friends. Awkward.
A bit later on and back on the dance floor I found myself talking to a couple of other guys (not at the same time obviously, although that would demonstrate amazing game). The first guy started up convo by telling me I was 'a very confident women', something which I really wasn't feeling last night and the other confessed within the first 3 seconds of meeting him that he was 35 and had two children. Both these guys had no confidence and no game whatsoever, and of course I was just not interested. Thing is both guys were cute but cute just does not cut it, its gotta be hot!
In my vodka fuelled hazed I actually thought how ironic this situation was; I was like these two game-less men when it came to DW. I don't even know what's so great about him anyway, as KK pointed out he has an odd shaped nose. It's his game that I found myself totally attracted to.
Armed with a very false sense of confidence I marched straight up to DW, grabbed his arm and spun him round and said... nothing. He looked at me blankly and quite politely gestured that he hadn't heard me. Still I stood there and said nothing. Oh the shame. After about 3/4 minutes of this very awkward encounter (in front of all of his friends may I add) he said; "I'm just going for a piss, is this alright?". Oh it just got worse. I gestured something along the lines of "Oh yea, that's fine" and slunk off red faced back to the girls.
I tired telling my by now very drunk FPUA all about what had just happened but it wasn't really sinking in, so for dramatic effect I finished my story to them with "I just want to kill myself". Give me some credit though, I had the balls to stay until the end of the night and I avoided the drunk trip to the takeaway.
Saturday, I got to thinking about this game malarkey. It is so interesting. DW pulled many a Neil Straus move on me. Firstly he negged me; talking to both the girls but not me, then he did the trick of walking away for me to follow and quite obviously his best move was to completely ignore me to the point of which I think it is a fantastic idea to approach him first. Thing is, myself and my fellow FPUAs are unsure what now to do with our new fountain of knowledge. Do we play into the hands of these guys and their PUA skills, after all we are all after the same outcome or do we do the complete opposite and throw them off their game but risk missing out on an opportunity with this guy. The jury is still out. Perhaps we need to road test our options next weekend.
I am not going to lie. My game confidence took a little bit of a knock on Friday night and I was feeling a little battered. I had said to the girls that I was going to lay off it for a while whilst I restored my ego, but I found myself displaying amazing game at the pub yesterday. Don't they say your supposed to get right back on the horse?
Friday 2 November 2012
Mean Girls
We all probably know one. Perhaps your even one yourself. What if you are one but don't even know it; Mean Girls can be found everywhere.
Mean Girls can be found hanging around in a group of three or more and are usually OK on a one-to-one basis. The one thing they all have in common is their super strength ability to back-stab.
Both my places of work probably encourage a bit of competition and therefore bitching, although a friend of mine was telling me only the other day about similar stories at her place of work. My friend actually works with a very old school friend who she confided in when she got a pay-rise, next thing my friend was called into her managers office because someone else had heard through the grapevine. Ten points for guessing who had blabbed? Brooke says there is an element of pack mentality involved in being a Mean Girl and sometimes individuals find themselves conforming to bitching in order to fit in. Think back to all those Mean Girls at school; most of them were alright on their own, it was only when they met their Mean Girl gal pals at lunchtime that they turned into super bitches.
Personally I have never found it easy to pal up with girls without there being a drama. At school I made friends with a bunch of boys and when I started seeing Mr Reliable I hung out with him and his mates. Of course I did have girlfriends - my oldest bestie has always been on the scene, she even came to hang out with us when in the 6th form. But it was only when I went to Uni and met all the Uni Girls that I had my own group of girls. Since then I have found it easier with girls. Boys are just so honest and they hate the drama. I know boys love a good bitch too but they would also say it to their mates face - muchos respect for this.
One of boy mates I really really value. I probably speak to him differently to any of the my gal pals because I know he would tell me exactly what he thought to my face, not tell me one thing to my face then something else behind my back - a classic characteristic of a Mean Girl.
I do not claim to be all holy-er than thou. I probably have been heard speaking about someone behind their back at some point and yes, maybe had a little bitch. But I truly believe in having the balls to say it to their face or at least not being fake and pretending to like that person, I have always believed in treating people as I would like to be treated. I guess everyone has a little Mean Girl about them.
Mean Girls can be found hanging around in a group of three or more and are usually OK on a one-to-one basis. The one thing they all have in common is their super strength ability to back-stab.
Both my places of work probably encourage a bit of competition and therefore bitching, although a friend of mine was telling me only the other day about similar stories at her place of work. My friend actually works with a very old school friend who she confided in when she got a pay-rise, next thing my friend was called into her managers office because someone else had heard through the grapevine. Ten points for guessing who had blabbed? Brooke says there is an element of pack mentality involved in being a Mean Girl and sometimes individuals find themselves conforming to bitching in order to fit in. Think back to all those Mean Girls at school; most of them were alright on their own, it was only when they met their Mean Girl gal pals at lunchtime that they turned into super bitches.
Personally I have never found it easy to pal up with girls without there being a drama. At school I made friends with a bunch of boys and when I started seeing Mr Reliable I hung out with him and his mates. Of course I did have girlfriends - my oldest bestie has always been on the scene, she even came to hang out with us when in the 6th form. But it was only when I went to Uni and met all the Uni Girls that I had my own group of girls. Since then I have found it easier with girls. Boys are just so honest and they hate the drama. I know boys love a good bitch too but they would also say it to their mates face - muchos respect for this.
One of boy mates I really really value. I probably speak to him differently to any of the my gal pals because I know he would tell me exactly what he thought to my face, not tell me one thing to my face then something else behind my back - a classic characteristic of a Mean Girl.
I do not claim to be all holy-er than thou. I probably have been heard speaking about someone behind their back at some point and yes, maybe had a little bitch. But I truly believe in having the balls to say it to their face or at least not being fake and pretending to like that person, I have always believed in treating people as I would like to be treated. I guess everyone has a little Mean Girl about them.
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