One day at a time

It's impossible to feel amazing everyday. In fact, it's impossible to feel just ok everyday. Everyone has days where they don't feel their best. Maybe it's the way they got out of bed that morning, maybe they didn't get quite enough sleep or maybe someone really pissed then off on their drive to work. 

God knows I have had tricky days. Days I really don't want to get out of bed and face the day. I'm sure everyone has felt this feeling.

I guess it's not the feeling you've got to tackle but it's the what you do with it. You could give in, stay in bed all day and feed the misery (that does sometimes sound quite appealing). Or you could choose the alternative and not give in. To get up out of bed and get on with things. I don't mean bounce into work and through your day like a Disney princess (I'm picturing Snow White, whistling whilst she's working) or facing the day with a big old smile on your face, being the best possible version of yourself. I just mean not giving in to the misery, the mood, the depression. 

Yesterday my housemate moved out. It kind of upset me more than I thought it would. Perhaps it bought up memories of when my previous housemate/best friend moves out. Maybe it made me think how much I would love to share my home with someone I love. I don't know. I'm trying not to overanalyse things. 

Thing is, yesterday could have been shitty. I could have been miserable all day, focusing on just getting home so I could cry in the privacy of my bath uninterrupted. But I didn't. Well I did cry in the bath but I didn't look forward to it all day long, just on the train on the way home. Ha! I went to bed in a pretty low mood but I had the outlook that tomorrow is another day. 

It doesn't matter how I felt yesterday. It doesn't even matter how I am going to feel tomorrow. I've got to focusing on how I am going to feel today. Right now. 

Passion: what's yours?

I love pinterest. I think it's the most personal form of social media. None of this showing off crap you get on Facebook, my pins and boards are really personal. The pinners I follow find inspiring images and quotes that I love to peruse on my morning train journey with a travel cuppa tea.

Yesterday I was in a bit of a crappy mood. You know, one of those thinky ones where your mind is speeding along at 100mph worrying about tiny little things, usually all silly. I needed some grounding, some perspective. So, I found my favorite inspirational pin board and glanced over my pins. 

It worked. I found myself thinking less about my anxieties and more about the inspirational words I have been collecting. One word in particular kept popping up... passion.

What's yours? It gets quite difficult if you think too deeply about it. I kinda took the tact of what it is in my life that I enjoy; what is it that brings me pleasure, the thing to brighten your day. I concluded family as my biggest passion. My family are such a big part of my life, I speak to them daily and I care so deeply about them. Another passion of mine along the same lines are my friendships. I cherish them, they mean a lot. These are the people I am sharing experiences with, learning things with. Hopefully some of these people will be the ones I will grow old with.

That's all a bit tame right? Imagine if photography was my passion and I followed it around the world snapping away on the Great Wall of China or something. If baking was my passion I might become a fabulous pastry chief or maybe appear on the Great British Bake Off. So then I began to delve a little deeper.

My home is a great passion of mine. I am a homemaker. I love my flat, it's the place that I can be totally me and that is totally mine. I close the door and I am alone with my thoughts. As much as I sometimes hate the loneliness it does bring great things too. My home is what I go out to work for.

Another passion of mine is my mind or maybe more the journey of my mind. I am aware I am on a constant journey of self improvement, development and learning. I like to take on board new ideas, new experiences which shape and alter the way I see things. I have been recording this in my diaries for the last ten years. I love reading back over how I felt about particular situations and  thinking how differently I now view it.

I also have a passion for escapism. I love watching a film or reading a book and losing myself in my imagination. Dreaming up endless possibilities to a difficult situation or imagining what I will be doing with myself in one, five or ten years time. My imagination literally has no boundaries. It is the thing that sometimes sends me nuts.

So now you know mine, what's yours? Maybe it's films, maybe it's dance. Perhaps you love working out or maybe reading is more your thing. Have a think about your passion and make more room for it in your life. Feed it.

The Relationship

This week I've been thinking about relationships. I've thought for a while now how funny it is that guys and girls can form amazing friendships with members of the same sex, some that last a life time, yet when it comes to forming that bond with someone of the opposite sex and taking it to the next level (e.g. sex), it gets so complicated.

I've always liked the idea that my lover/boyfriend/husband is my best friend; always there for me, knows me inside out. I suppose everyone deep down is looking for that that connection too. I think that level of friendship/relationship takes time though, you don't suddenly become BFFs with a newbie you meet at work, it takes bonding, shared experiences and probably tears for your friendship to be tested (not in a multi-question quiz kinda way but in a worlds strongest man way; a test of strength, stamina). 

Relationships come in all different shapes and sizes too. Some work best in each-others pockets, completely secluded in their own world, some work just as well long distance, without the need for constant conversation. When I think of all my taken friends I have observed how different their relationships are, not in a bad way of course (most of them are probably reading this... Ha), they just all work in different ways. The one thing I do notice though is that the basic principles are always the same. Perhaps it's because we've been conditioned by society to behave/bond in a certain way with a partner, or maybe it's even deeper than that. Maybe it's in our genetic makeup to form these strong bonds to maximize our lifespan and therefore our opportunity to pass along our genes (wow this shit just got deep). Or, lets go all rom-com and Richard Curtis here, maybe it's just magical (no, I haven't been smoking drugs).

I'm lucky, I have the most supportive parents. They are the most reliable people, the only people who are selflessly there for me. It's crossed my mind many times that perhaps their strength has set me up with extremely high standards when it comes to friendships/relationships. If I think back to fall out with friends and relationships it's usually because I feel I've been let down. Perhaps I need to consider the possibility that no one is as perfect as me (I'm joking obvs) - maybe these high expectations are preventing me forming the one friendship I really REALLY want to.

p.s. I've written about my Great Expectations many times before...

An Idiots Guide to Tinder

Whilst arranging a monthly catch up dinner with an old Uni pal this week, she asked if I had any goss for her.
Er what do you think
I typed back.
Her response; Have you tried Tinder? 

So I jumped on Google and gave this thing called Tinder a quick search.
The app that helps you meet people for sex

Typical, I thought. One of my smug-married friends pushing me to online dating - not only online dating but online casual sex. God, she must think times are v tough. 

Well, I stand corrected.

Tinder is an app, kind of a cross between Match, Google maps and that mega old site Hot or Not (remember that?!). Super quick to set up, your account links to FB to grab your profile pics, but don't worry, it defo doesn't appear on your feed. You can add a little bio line if you like and away you go! 

The app searches for men (or women - whatever you preference) in your area by mile radius, leaving you to simply sift through the pile; literally swiping them one way for no and the other for yes. If your lucky, every so often a little notification pops up letting you know you've made a match - you've yes'd them and they've yes'd you. Your matches then hang about on the right hand navigation bar, ready for you to strike up a little flirt convo. 

Boy is it addictive. I think I am intrigued by the seemingly endless pile of boy faces appearing on my screen, they're actually some pretty cute ones too. 

My top Tinder tips:

• Don't swipe with hast - swiping through the hot or not's can get quite speedy, but with one false thumb move you could lose that cutie for good, BE WARNED
• Don't get fooled by the clever people at Tinder telling you 'your children would be so cute' when you open up a chat for the first time - their sneaky and flirty and trying to get you chit chatting
• Notice how many guys have their profile pics with girls, weird huh? Also a lot of them have naked snaps, ones where they are clearly wasted or ones with the lads in Zante 2012, leaving you guessing which one Dave, 28 actually is

New Season, New You

On Monday I saved this image as my phone wallpaper;

I spotted it on Pinterest and just loved it. I wanted it to inspire me and give me something to focus on this week, as opposed to freaking out about the silly little things. I think it's helped! This, along with my Mum's new mantra; One life, live it (oh and some Fleetwood Mac) has got me through the week feeling good.

Today feels like the first day of Autumn, I think I heard somewhere that it actually is. I'm quite looking forward to the next part of the year; snuggly jumpers, the return of super Saturday night tele and new season boots (that's the KG influence). This time last year I was having such a good time working, drinking. I plan to do the same thing this year in the run up to Christmas. Oh and I plan to do it skinny - I've rejoined weight watchers, it's time to shift those extra 14 pounds (that's another blog post which I coincidently have saved in my drafts). 

I didn't tell you about last weekend. Last weekend felt like the good ol' days; Saturday night in The Rose, Sunday afternoon après Rose chats with the girls in The Pub. I loved it. Perhaps that's why I'm looking forward to the next part of the year, perhaps the weather reminds me of all the fun I had last year. Ah well, whatever it is, it's feeling good.