The Boy-Goss Catch Up

I've been quiet on the boy related posts these last 6 months. Well to be honest, I've been reluctant to spill the beans on my new relationship. This is due to a couple of reasons. 

One, because I didn't want to jinx things; to ramble on about this boy and then nothing materialise. Two, because believe it or not I don't like everybody knowing all of my business all the time. And three, because some things are nice to just enjoy and not write/moan/overanalyse about.

Over the last 6 months however I have attempted many a blog post to share my boy updates, they just never really made the cut (or I chickened out of posting at the very last minute). I want to use this post to give those lovely written sentences their 5 minutes of fame.

So here goes: 

13th November 2014

If you hadn't realised by now, I have myself a boyfriend. My absence in writing comes from a good place. A place where I was reluctant to share all my boy goss. Quite frankly, I was afraid of slipping into my usual routine where things cock up and I spend the next few months (and many blog posts) analysing what exactly went wrong. Instead of sharing and risking all that drama I decided to keep schtum. I also kept schtum because sometimes it's nice not to share.

I realise that boy-bipolar is much more fascinating to the outside world than a cute little love story. The interest in reading about my dating disasters totally out-weighs the popularity in reading about a lovely date night. Who cares how much I hold my BF's hand as we stroll about at the weekend and who cares that he has his very own toothbrush sitting in my toothbrush holder. No one. Not really anyway and that's OK.

8th August 2014

My Summer fling has returned to Uni - or as he calls it 'college'. He left last week, pretty much leaving for the airport from my front door. I spent the next ten or so hours following his flight on a plane tracker app. 

During his last few weeks we both kind of avoided the big leaving-the-country-for-16-weeks elephant in the room. I simply didn't know how was I going to feel about it, so it wasn't worth worrying about.

His last weekend we made sure was jam packed with fun. We spent one day at the zoo and the next at a local festival with his friends. Needless to say we both got hammered. It was under the influence of bucket cocktails that he confessed he was sad to be going back to Uni, that he wanted to keep in touch and that we both admitted to having had amazing summers.

To be honest, during his last week I sensed a hint of dread hanging in the air the whole time. All I kept thinking was 'this will the last time he sleeps over/we have the day together/we'll watch crappy tele'. It reminded me of my Uni days and how I used to feel going back for a new term, leaving all my family and friends. I was sad to be honest. Even though we had both said we would keep in touch it's not quite the same. It felt like the definite end of our/my summer of fun. 

Mindfullness: The Basics

Recently I've been seeking ways in which to keep me grounded, excercises or thought patterns to break my sometimes neurotic ones. When I'm in a crazy mindset I recognise it's not right but struggle to pull myself out of it. This lack of solution to my problem, and some chitchat with my wannabe Yogi housemate, lead me to the practice of Mindfullness.

I'm not expert, I'm only four chapters into my self-help book, however I feel like I have the basics, the bare necessities of this practice and I wanted to share.

Firstly Mindfullness focuses on being in the moment. It believes that us humans fill our days with being busy and this busyness distracts us from enjoying the beauty and simplicity of actual life. Days, weeks, even years go by with us rushing through life focusing on the stress and the busyness. Sound familiar? It certainly does for me. 

The idea goes on to explain that us humans make our lives busy in order to achieve all those things we think are important in life; successful career, perfect relationships, a lovely home (or whatever it is that keeps you going). We use these goals as indicators as to weather we are on the right track, if we can tick off these things then we will finally be happy. 

The book I am reading helps you to understand the practice through the many excercises dotted about the pages. I spent a train journey to work the other morning focusing on my breath and the weight of my body on the seat. Yesterday I Mindfully drunk my morning tea, closing off my thoughts and simply noticing the cup, the liquid and the taste of my brew. It was a pretty flippin' good brew and that's exactly the point. If you focus on one thing, you reap much greater pleasure from it. Being busy spreads your focus too thin, resulting in your mind doing many different tasks but gaining only some satisfaction. 

To keep the whole Mindfullness practice basic, the strap line for the idea (come on, I am in marketing) is this; Human-Being vs. Human-Doing. 

I love that. It makes perfect sense to me. Enjoy the moment, every second, just be. Try your hardest not to get bogged down with all that self made busyness. 

New Year Resolutions 2015

So here goes the obligatory New Years resolution post. Ever since I started keeping my journal (online or otherwise) I have always made a note of my resolutions for the new year to come. I like to keep it as a record, something I can look back on to determine weather or not I achieved anything at all that year. Whilst writing this years resolutions I looked back to what I had written at the start of last year.

2014 meant a line drawn in the sand for me, the previous year had been a particularly difficult one. This time last year I made one solid resolution, I simply resolved to have fun. That's F-U-N. I wanted to ensure that the year to come was much better than the previous one and it certainly was. In fact I had lots of fun. 

This year, of course, is no different.This year I am continuing my New Year's tradition and I have made three resolutions. 

Resolution number 1.

To be more grateful. When I'm having a particularly bad day I always try to re-focus my mind on all the good things, to thank my God (whoever she may be) for all my blessings, all those tiny or mahoosive things I love about my life. Doing this little exercise definitely helps me out of my mood slump. This year I resolve to be even more grateful, to really see all my blessings. Hopefully one day my mind will be so good at focussing on the good that it won't even notice the bad. 

Resolution number 2.

To be kinder. I want to put more love out there, to put a smile on someone's face who's having a difficult day, to just tell someone how much they mean to me. I want to put some good charma out there. Imagine if everyone in the world did one good deed a day, imagine if everyone passed on their smile, it would be such a lovelier place to be. 

Resolution number 3.

A classic, sure to be on many a resolution list; to eat less and move more.  I know, so cliche but if anyone is in need of this on their list its me (again, I'm sure everyone thinks that). I've been greedily shuvling in the sausage rolls, Celebrations and Walkers Sensations since September (2013). I am so far off the wagon, I can't even see the the wagon, I can only just about make out the tyre marks left in the sand by said wagon and I only notice them when I'm not being distracted by deep fried brie wedges. 

Similarly to this time last year I don't really have much of a plan for myself/my life this year. I guess if I continue along with my resolution from last year and also start to focus on these new ones everything should work itself out. There's a leap of faith for you.