I hate this phrase, it's just utter bullshit. You'd hear this from your friend after that guy you liked dumped you, you might even say it back to that friend when the guy she likes dumps her. Some girls probably find great comfort in this little phrase, but no, not me. I hate it.
I heard this a lot during my two years on-and-off with Mr Rebellious. Every time he stood-me-up, or was asleep when we were meant to be going out or dropped off the face of the earth for a few days without a word of warning; my Mum, my friends and anyone else I moaned to about him would conclude our entire conversation with "You could do so much better".
When I was with Mr Rebellious I kinda thought this was true. I knew he was a bit different to all the nice guys my friends were going out with, my Mum told me this with her disappointed tone pretty much every day. I knew I was nice to him, I treated him with respect and I would foolishly never stand-him-up back (probably because I didn't want to face facts that he wouldn't actually be that bothered). When I ended things I thought I would go on to bigger, better things, that I would meet a nice guy who treated me lovely; I have been single for over two years.
"You could do so much better" suggests you were out of your ex-beau's league, that he will one day wake up with the realisation that he was a massive tool and will kick himself for letting you go, meanwhile your living-it-up with the absolute man of your dreams and a great big smile on your face. I know it's supposed to be a positive thing to make you feel better about yourself but I simply think it sets the poor dumped person up for disappointment. Also what about the idea that some people simply cannot do much better than their ex, what if they deserved everything they got from their ex - I am sure they would also be told that exact same bullshit phrase.
I get told all the time I am too fussy with guys, that I need to lower my standards (which kinda suggests they think I am a little above my station when it comes to guys, but I digress). I know this is not true. I know what I am looking for, I know I just want that spark/connection with someone. It doesn't matter who they are or what they do; if there's a spark, there's a spark and I will go explore. It's not about doing much better than the previous or than anyone for that matter it's just about finding the right guy. I guess that's what gets me in pickles with guys others deem not worthy of me in the first place.
Now when I hear this much dreaded phrase I simply ask right back; "Well where is this Mr Perfect?". Next time you get told this just have a little think, you can hit them in the face with my back comment if you like, buy that's only if your as cynical and bitter as me.
