Valentine's Day

February the 14th is fast approaching. The one day many singletons dread whilst most couples can't be bothered with. It is a funny little holiday, who even bloody knows why we celebrate it?!

Most people see it as a money making scheme that companies like Clinton Cards, Thorntons and Pizza Express will reap the rewards of (after a quick wikipedia search their not actually that wrong). There is probably much more hype in the build up than in the actual Valentine's doing. There is also that question of why wait for that one day a year to send a love card or give a bunch of flowers; why not do it on a random day in July - bizarrely this is probably more romantic. Personally, I love entering into the spirit of anything (Bonfire night, Christmas, I even love Easter FFS) so something cute on February 14th would of course be welcomed.

Do girls put the pressure on for vday? I don't think there is any girl out there who wouldn't appreciate a little something for Valentine's Day, but by a little something I actually mean a thoughtful act of love from their guy that she didn't have to ask for or even hint at. For some girls just a cuppa tea in bed from their man would probably do. A Valentine's 'don't worry I'll take the bin out' would be the best gift someone could give me. But on the flip side I am sure out there somewhere are the crazy girls expecting it all; 12 red roses, the entire Hotel Chocolat, dinner on top of the Eiffel...

I've only had a few Valentine's with guys. Actually I remember two with Mr Reliable, but none with Mr Rebellious (although I do remember buying him a truck load of orange club biscuits and wrapping them in a bow, I obviously received nothing). I have never bought into all the fuss, I've kept it low key but I do like the idea of doing something nice and lovely. Just a lovely little thing to raise a lovely little smile.

I can however distinctively remember two amazing Valentine's evenings spent with the girls. The first one in my second year of Uni, the four us went to our favourite pizza place called Croma just of Albert Square in Manchester. There was a lot of wine involved and we were obviously the best table in the place. The second also involves pizza, wine, cocktails and a massive hangover on the 15th. There seems to be a theme here.

This year? Well obviously I am single but also in that weird 'seeing someone' camp. What is the deal here?! To be honest I'm not too bothered, all this talk of love is a bit weird when things are still so casual. However I do know that I will be seeing my girls, after all they have been the best boyfriends over the past year. We have planned an evening of cheese, wine and silliness - sounds like the best kind of vday to me. Hmm, the only thing that could top that would be a vday booty call to end the evening. Do Clintons to a card for that?

He's Just Not That Into You

This dating rule goes as follows;
You worry all day about him not texting you back or not arranging that date or not appearing bothered about seeing you. The simple answer that all girls never want to admit to, but probably should always consider when finding themselves in this situation is simply; he is just not that into you.

I first learnt about this rule in Sex and the City - some guy confessed this to Miranda, she found it liberating. Then I heard about the book/film; ever since then it's kinda always in my mind when a guy doesn't appear so keen.

I suppose if your dating a few different guys it helps you weed out the ones not worth any more of your time, but if you actually quite like the guy it can be difficult to digest. Recently I was talking to a girlfriend about a guy she was seeing, she was confused by his very hot and cold nature; he started off very hot, very persistent, very into her. Then all of a sudden he goes cold; one word texts, skirting around the subject of meeting up again - she was left puzzled. We obviously discussed endless possibilities of him being busy at work, maybe having difficulty with home stuff or maybe playing games (As a side note, my opinion on boys playing games goes like this; I honestly don't think regular guys play games, they simply CBA).

I try not to sugar coat things, as harsh as it may seem (but I like to think honest) I floated the rule that maybe He's Just Not That Into You, to which she replied; "Of course! It makes so much sense...". I then went on to say that if he was interested in her then he would call or text, told her not to bother with him - he knows where you are. Quite a good test I think, but leaving her in limbo? Maybe.

OK, so am I being cynical or just realistic? Could it be possible that this kind of guy maybe lost his phone or maybe lost your number or perhaps his dog died? I personally believe if he is interested then he would want to call or text or see you - this isn't too idealistic, is it? Surely this cannot be too much to ask for? Maybe it is.

Girlfriends vs. Boyfriends

Ever since that moment in series three of Sex and the City when Charlotte suggests that the girls friendships are what they have been looking for all along in relationships with men, I have questioned the importance of girlfriends over boyfriends.

I have so many good girlfriends, all my relationships with them are different (thankfully) but one thing is consistent in all of them; they are always always there for me. Weather I am calling at 11pm in tears over a boy or moaning over a glass of wine about work or worrying about how I am going to afford my latest horrific car bill; my girlfriends will talk endlessly and selflessly about my problems until I am done. And of course I'd like to think that I would do the same right back. This is what I believe to be the real meaning of friendship.
Recently I realised that no guy I have been in a relationship with has ever been there for me as much as my girlfriends (and obviously my Mum). I don't honestly know if any man will ever be there for me as much. I have such high standards when it comes to things like that; I'm a stickler for reliability, I love reliable, dependable people, it's just one of my things. Along with people who are honest and trustworthy I have so much time and respect for people who are dependable. But perhaps that's the thing, perhaps that's the thing I am looking for in my ultimate guy.

I floated the idea of great girl friendships and fun boy relationships with the girls recently. They loved the idea, but what girl wouldn't?! Hands up who wouldn't enter into a trusting, honest relationship with someone who remembers your birthday, who can talk to you and watch the tele at the same time and who you can share shoes with?!

I know what your thinking, this is all well and good but what about sex? Well, there's this high street sex shop where you can buy these amazing toys,with only 4 AA battery's you can... JOKES. How about going elsewhere for the snogs and the sex. Hell, meet a boy on a Saturday night in town, use and abuse and move on. It happens.

And what if you find someone you can have both the relationship and the sex with? Well then you've won.

Next!

I was completely right not to spill too much about my latest fling; unsurprisingly it went amazingly tit's up over the weekend. To cut a long story short, it turns out I had once again began to fall for the loser, you know the he-will-change kind of guy. After the realisation on Friday night (after a very stupid confession by him) I sent a farewell text containing the phrases; how do I know you didn't sleep with her and a very dramatic but very necessary I thought you were someone else. You can probably guess the rest.

If I am being honest I am really upset; I really liked hanging out with him, I genuinely thought it could have turned into something. I am also really annoyed, but not at him, I am annoyed at myself for letting myself get into this sort of pickle all over again, I feel stupid to be right back where I was at the age of 22. In a nutshell I feel like a failure.

I have got a tiny bit of positive thinking going on though, just enough to think I cannot let some loser guy get to me this much. Also the girls have been their usually super supportive selves. KK says my experience with my previous Mr Rebelious prepared me for this latest disaster and that's what made me see the warning signs. Blondie admited that they also thought deep down he was a good guy too. As always, great gal pal advice. I am seriously considering giving up boys in favour of two girlfirends. I can honestly say no man has ever been as there for me as these two.

So on-wards and quite honestly up-wards; my taste in men couldn't get much lower. I have set myself a challenge of getting a new date lined up by the weekend and I have already made leeway with this. You know me, I don't waste any time. I think I need a distraction from my very low opinion of myself right now. When there's a guy about I can at least think well so-and-so thinks I am funny/sweet/cute/sexy. This is totally the thing your not supposed to admit to by the way, it's in every single girl guide book but screw it! You can always rely on me to be totally open and honest.

I have also turned the one woman comedy act back on. I have been entertaining everyone with tales from my deeply depressive single life where I am constantly in search of the one thing to make me truely and forever more happy; a man. Quite honestly all I really want is just a decent sort of guy I can hang out with who doesn't dick me around - v hard to find, v hard.

Lessons learnt from my latest failed venture:
1. always listen to your instinct - something reminded me too much of Mr Rebelious from day 1
2. do not fall first - this only ever lands you in trouble and him trotting off unscathed
3. head over heart, head over heart, head over heart
4. do not get fooled by your imagination - my imagination can fuck right off

So that's me for now. I will of of course be keeping you posted on my new challenge. I think this week is going to be tough so I will probably be doing lots of writing, sleeping and eating.

Well hello 2013 and hello resolutions

I have been AWOL these last couple of weeks. I blame Christmas, laziness and a boy. I would love to sit here and tell you all about my latest boy situ (and believe me, I have lots to write about) but truth be told I kind of don't want to. I'm kinda keeping it on the down low at the moment anyway, so writing it up on here for the whole entire world to see (if they really wanted to) would sort of put a stop to that.

With my own boy-bipolar off limits that only leaves my gal pals lives to catch you up on. However, it doesn't really seem fair to dish their dirt but not my own. So whilst the jury is out on what to tell you r.e. the boys in our lives I will instead write a New Year resolutions post.

I love New Year. I always look upon it as a time to reflect over the previous year and to look forward to all the amazing things that could happen in the one ahead. Obviously if you have had a pretty shitty year it's not so great to look back and reflect, but New Year is still the perfect time to put that all behind you and look to the future.

As I love New Year so much I obviously always plan resolutions. For the past couple of years I have tried to limit them to only 2 or 3; in the hope of increasing the odds of actually fulfilling them. Last year I resolved to realise that I simply cannot please everyone, that there will definitely be people I come across who don't like me no matter what I do. I think I actually completed this resolution. I couldn't give a monkey's if someone doesn't like me any more. In fact I quite like it - it's one less person I have to make all the effort with (e.g. attempt conversation, arrange to see). Quite simply Fuck 'em. I am quite happy to sit in an awkward environment for an entire evening if necessary. Just you dare me...

This year I have 2 resolutions.

Firstly I plan to take back up my childhood/teenage hobby of dancing. Yes yes, I know, I dance pretty much every Saturday night on the postagestamp sized grimmy floor of The Rose, but this doesn't really count. I actually mean a dance class. For 15 years I danced tap, ballet, modern and I also studied contemporary dance for A Level. Ok, so I didn't pass with an A* or anything (that's sort of why I didn't carry it on) but it was such a huge part of my life growing up. Now at the age of 25 it is nowhere to be seen in my sober life. I resolve to go back to lessons once a week, get moving a bit more and simply HAVE LOADS OF FUN (whilst learning some sexy new moves).

My second resolution for 2013 is to be less of bitch. When I have been talking to people about New Year resolutions it has been quite nice that most people have been surprised at this one, but I think these are the people who don't really know me too well. I can be a massive cow. Just horrible really, short, snappy, outspoken, opinionated etc. Don't get me wrong, all these personality traits do make me who I am but I think I am going to tone them down a little this year, bite my tongue a bit more and generally be a nicer person. Perhaps then I won't have to worry about my last years resolution.

Along with these there are the obvious ones; lose a few pounds, make this year the year I have that killer body, read more. These will be loitering in the background too. I am also planning on writing more on here so spread the word and keep checking back for updates. I promise to spill some boy beans.

Happy New Year!