Needless to say, I had a FANTASTIC time away (I kept a travel journal by the way, which I intend to write up). That trip was meant to be a taster for me, or even a tester; a test of my traveling ability, my courage to explore new places and my anxiety of uncertainty. I feel like I passed my self-set exam with top marks.
The biggest revelation I had on my trip (because I always have a holiday revelation, whether it's a week in Devon or two weeks road tripping America) was that it's really REALLY good to push yourself to do things outside your comfort zone. Of course I knew this already but those few weeks have opened my eyes to the travelling possibilities this world and Virgin Atlantic have to offer; it feels amazing. Since I've been back I've been spending any spare few minutes searching the internet for cheap flights or around the world tickets or glued to Google maps. I think it's fair to say I have caught the travelling bug.
Trouble is, my new found freedom and sense of adventure doesn't sit very well alongside a sort of high powered career in London. You can't really be focused on forging out a super successful career in fashion when you're seriously considering a four month stint working in some Aussie bar. My motivation at work, already lacking before my trip, has now nearly altogether dissapeared. Since I've been back it's been even harder to focus. It feels like my priorities have all shifted. Wrongly or rightly, it wasn't so long ago that work, a career and (embarrassingly) money was all important to me. Now I just want to enjoy everyday day, enjoy my job, be care-free and make the most of everything. Sitting for 3 hours a day on a train, then another 8 hours at a desk doesn't really sit well with my new outlook. It's actually weighing me down; Monday to Friday seems a bit like a waste of time.
When I'm feeling like that I have to make the effort to check myself. I make sure to list everything I'm thankful for and having a job in the first place is a good start. So please excuse me for sounding like an ungrateful bitch with a seemingly cool job in London. It's not ungratefulness at all, I know I'm extremely lucky to have everything I do right now. It's just I know I need a change, I know I need to re-asses my work/life thing, I need to make some decisions and take some action but I'm being a wuss about it. I'm worried about making a career changing decision when ultimately I've been focused on work for the last eight years. It's a big thing, it's a big decision.
What's ironic is I know what I should do, I learnt it from my trip, I need to push myself to do the scary thing; I need to change my job. Just like that Monday night back in March when I took out my credit card and booked my flights to LA, I just need to take the plunge and take some action, after all what's the worst that can happen? I change my job, be even more bored so decide to book a flight and enjoy some sunshine. That sounds pretty awful to me... (not).
