The age old question; how long does it take you to get over an ex? Some say half the length of the time of the relationship. When Carrie gets broken up with via post-it note, she famously spends the same amount of time mourning her relationship as he did ending it. Some people hop straight on-to and in-to the next (nightmare) relationship and others take ages, years even.
I am the latter.
Historically it takes me ages to get over an ex. I spend many months analysing what went wrong, feeling either absolutely ecstatic to be free from the latest loser or suicidal at the thought of being single. Actually no, it's not that I don't like being single - I actually love fending for myself, I am the ultimate single gal after all, it's more the searing pain of loss I don't like. The way it feels like you've lost a limb.
Take my last break up for example. It really didn't take me long to realise Mr Boy was never really meant for me. How could he be? I could never be with someone who would break my heart in a blink of an eye. But, I still felt the pain. I missed him so much. Probably too much. Plus I had all the questions that would never get answered. Lots of loose ends and insecurities just floating around all over the place.
I never admit to anyone just how much I still think about him. I think I do this for many reasons but mainly because it's embarrassing. I find the whole situation embarrassing if I'm honest; how was I surprised that a 21 year old boy didn't want to stay committed to a 27 year old woman? I was dumped by a 21 year old for goodness sake. What's more it had/has such an affect on my life and the they way I feel about most things - how could I have let him have that much influence over me? (You see all the questions...?!)
Woman find it romantic when men still pine for them years after the end of their liaison. Men on the other hand label woman desperate and crazy. There's another reason why I keep schtum.
My Mum hit the nail in the head at the weekend. She said that Mr Boy broke my heart so much that it caused me a lot of damage. She said it will take me a long time to trust someone, to enter into a relationship again and she's definitely not wrong.
