A couple of things have really stood out in the last few months. Pieces of advice I have received, conversations that really stuck to me and that I hope to take forward into the next chapter.
The first one came from my Mum. During one of our late night chats about the mistakes I keep making in relationships, she told me she was furious with the most recent boy. She explained why she was so mad; she felt his actions had made me question myself again, impacting my objective train of thought. She assured me that I had not done anything wrong. She said I was good to him, I was faithful and that the only thing I might be guilty off is that I was so in love with him. And when has that ever been a bad thing? That's a beautiful thing. This chat really helped me see that the break up of our relationship was all down to him, there wasn't anything I could have done to protect my heart. I innocently and quite lovely fell in love with him.
The second piece of advice came from a work friend only last week. One lunchtime I was explaining that for me to truly move past all this I want to know he has regrets. That in itself is a bit narcissistic from my own point of view but nevertheless my very wise and straight thinking colleague helped me see that to admit you've made a mistake to the one person who it affects the most takes such courage. Something I honestly don't think Mr Boy has.
So that's that. These two nuggets of straight forward thinking have helped me out from many a dark moment and I'm sure they will continue to do so over the next few weeks and months.
This weekend marked a milestone. My housemate of two years moved out; pretty much to the date that he moved in. Instead of feeling sad and lonely I'm really looking forward to my time alone on my house. Financially I'm finally at a place that I can comfortably live on my own - that feels amazing. Also for various reasons I don't think I am lonely in my house.
Recently I've been putting myself out there again, chatting to boys, even having a little flirt. It feels good to be doing that all again, I'm actually excited about dating.
The next couple of months are kinda the build up to Christmas and then the new year. I love the new year, a fresh start. I plan to enjoy the next few months, spend as much quality time with my friends and my family as possible and to really rest up. I want to start 2016 off in the best frame of mind as possible.
