I wrote this ages ago. Way back in August but I've just found it and I thought it pretty much summed up exactly how I felt at he time. So, unashamedly, here is my heart laid bare:
I feel like I'm missing a body part. Something's missing from me. I'm ashamed to admit that it's you. I'm ashamed because you can't possibly feel the same way as me. I'm ashamed to feel so strongly for you as I do.
Sometimes I wonder if I am romanticising our time together, if I always did see you with rose tinted glasses. I don't know what's worse; feeling as strongly as I do about missing you or the idea that I am making more of it than what it was.
I already feel stronger without you than I did with you. The way I gave you so much of my heart worried me. This was my biggest fear realised yet I am doing good.
Initially I didn't get in touch with you in the hope that without me in your life you'd realise how much you missed me and how much of a mistake you have made. But as time has gone on I realise that if you did feel like that then you'd be in touch. Now I face the reality that you are better off without me in your life. That's gotta be the case for me too right? Maybe one day soon I will realise it.
We had such a perfect moment in time. I hoped it would never end. I didn't think about commitment, I didn't think about plans, I just loved being with you. You were my perfect buddy. Sadly I cannot think of you without thinking of that Thursday night when you came round and broke my heart. I realised then that I can't trust you, that I never should have and now I question everything we had together.
I'm broken but I will fix myself, I have to. I miss the person I thought you were and I will for a long time.
