The last few days have been a bit difficult. For the first time ever I am relieved for it to be Monday, I need the work distraction.
I wrote the below towards the end of last week when I was in a better frame of mind. Reading over it though has picked me up. That's always a good thing...
Losing weight has massively helped me feel better about myself. I feel a bit like my 23 year old self and she was really fun. She was fresh out of Uni and fresh out of a messy relationship. She didn't worry about a boyfriend or the future. I like to channel her sometimes.
As much as I want to eventually be in a relationship and build a life with someone, I realise how lucky I am to have so many friends to share things with and so many friends I know will always be there for me. At the moment I would prefer to put my trust in them as opposed to some boy - it's a much safer bet. I am determined to date soon, I would quite like to get dating again asap to be honest (if only for the free wine). I will approach dating just as I have in the past, one date at a time. I definitely do not want to get carried away into another mess, I want to make sure I keep my heart all mine. I'm not at all ready to trust it to somebody else.
I've learnt quite a few things over the last couple of months. I'm definitely learning how to deal with my anxiety better, I'm living in the moment much more and realising I do not need to let my feelings have so much control over my actions. Of course I sometimes wonder about the future but I cannot let myself worry about that too much. I've been far too busy tackling my broken heart to even have the time to think about the future to be honest.
