Recently I have been observing something I have not experienced for a very long time. Not since the days of my first school romance with Mr Reliable have I felt this way. I am sure you have all experienced this too at one time or another, perhaps it has even been you acting this way.
You know when your gal pal meets a new guy and she quickly disappears off the raider? She's not available for a midweek glass of wine at the drop of a hat anymore, you might have to book her up a whole week in advance - the cheek of it! She might also be slow at texting back; funny how love affects the texting skills.
I have had countless friends disappear into their lovely new relationship. It's not just girls either, boys do it too, actually I sometimes think boys are worse than girls. I like to think of myself as an understanding friend who would never blame any friend for doing this. I sort of think that if that were me I would want my friend to be understanding of my reasons. This honeymoon phase doesn't last that long anyway. Give it a few months or maybe a year and your pal will realise she has been too focused on herself. It's cool. If she doesn't come back to you or if your not supportive of her then the bottom line is your not that good friends.
There is another thing that I have witnessed that happens almost simultaneously when your friend starts dating the right guy as opposed to all those wrong ones. When she meets Mr Right she stops sharing the juicy sex details and you never hear her complain about him not texting her back. It's almost as if things are so perfect she has nothing to talk about (by talk I obviously mean the thing that we girls do best, that's moan). When you finally get hold of your gal pal and book a drink or dinner in for two weeks on Thursday (when the new boyf is away, obvs) she spends the entire evening with a sickly smile plastered across her face and puts a positive spin on EVERYTHING.
Recently I caught myself disappearing a little.
Obviously I am not claiming to have met Mr Right but I think I have met a Mr Right Now. I haven't had a boy in my life like this for quite some time. The last few times I have met up with the girls I have heard the phrase 'oh your just loved up' and more than once let me tell you. I pride myself in never putting bros before hoes and I have always been really good at it. I am independent when it comes to things like friends and socialising, even when in a relationship, but boy am I finding it hard this time round to juggle all things friends and boys.
I have always been determined not to become one of those smug married types. You've all seen Bridget Jones' diary. The bit where she goes alone to the dinner party with a thousand loved up couples and they interrogate her into the working mind of a 30 year old singleton. In a funny sort of way I looked up to her. For most of my early twenties I wanted to be single and man-less just so I could say 'Nope, I don't need a man, women can be cool AND single'. I think that's why I loved Sex and The City so much, they were all very cool and very single for most of the 6 seasons. But surely I can have a boy and still champion the rights for the single women? Beyonce does it. Also my dream of becoming Bridget Jones could still be realised one day.
I suppose this singleton dissapearing act is a bit like the fairy tale ending 'and they lived happily ever after'. Which is lovely and probably something my Mum really wishes for me but I don't think it will happen this way for me. I think no matter my relationship status I will also be a little bit of a singleton.
