Just to highlight how kind of a big deal this is, this guy has not been on Facebook for 5 years. I messaged back, explaining what I think had happened, giving him my number. On the train on the way home I receive a text: 'I'm back at my Mums this evening, any chance I could see you? Drink somewhere?'.
Holly shit, temptation strikes. After all the fun I had catching up with him on Christmas Eve, why wouldn't I meet him for a drink? I was quick to reply, initially saying I couldn't, that I had plans - which was true. I sat and thought about it a little while longer - I guess I could just meet him after my plans... So I did.
I walked into the pub, our old playground, looking for his distinctive Afro. What a shock that he would be late. I was thinking about ordering a drink on a tab but thought twice when thinking about the strong likelihood that I could get stood up, but in he strolled as I sat down at the table by the fire.
The first few minutes were awkward, he was nervous. I'm not the best with eye contact but he really could not keep mine. Also I noticed how tired he looked, not tired in a way that meant he didn't have enough sleep last night but in an age kind of way. I guess years of smoking all sorts of stuff takes that kind of toll. As he was telling me about all the friends he'd been catching up with whilst being back in the village for a few days I couldn't help but notice the even bigger differences between us, our friends, our lifestyles.
We talked about all sorts of things: what we'd been doing the last 5 years, catching up on gossip, Game of Thrones and work. I asked him about his demons, how he deals with all the stuff he went through - I kind of explained some of mine.
Conversation did go slightly odd though when he talked about his feelings for me. He mentioned a couple of incidents that I just couldn't remember which I probably should, for example when he first told me he loved me, when he called me a few years ago and I promptly hung up. He said last night that I am the only girl he has been in love with and that I broke his heart when I ended things.
At the time I didn't see our relationship as a long term thing at all, I was so young. I certainly didn't have the capacity to deal with all the issues he was going through - I confessed last night that I don't think at the time I even understood the enormity of them. I went on to say that I acted quite selfishly, that I wasn't really the friend I should have been to him. It's funny that I see similarities between me back then and Mr Boy now.
At the end of the night I explained there was to be so no goodnight smooch but I did ask what happens now: 'Like do we text?'. He said he is back again in a couple of weekends, that he's planning a night out, that I should go. Holly shit, temptation strikes again. Going out with him and his friends would be ridiculous. I'm an adult now, I should know better! Although, I do still have that little play suit I used to wear...
