And that's the thing with Mr Rebelious. He does not do relationships, he hasn't been in one since me, he even told me that he sees his future on his own but then minetes later he contradicts himself, telling me he could see himself with me again. Can't blame me for feeling confused about his intentions now, can you? Funny thing is I don't even care about his intentions - he can think/want what he wants, I just gotta do what I gotta do.
The biggest thing that pisses me off about this whole thing is that I do not want to be in this situation right now. I don't want to be messaging someone I feel guilt pangs over, I thought I'd got rid of all this nonsense in my early twenties. If I could be anywhere right now it would be back in my bubble with Mr Boy. Hanging out with him in front of the tele, holding his hand as we stroll to the shops, working with him on a Saturday night in the bar. I want to be back in my ignorant bubble but I can't - instead I'm here, trying to not be persuaded to go have fun with a boy I know is no good for me.
Do you ever grow out of the temptation of a bad boy? Do you ever see all the hurt and pain you are pretty much inviting into your life? Maybe this is my test. Maybe after the last five years of loser guys and heart ache I'm being sent the one who tempted me the most. I've certainly done my homework on these guys, I should be heading straight to the top of the class.
