New Season, New You

On Monday I saved this image as my phone wallpaper;

I spotted it on Pinterest and just loved it. I wanted it to inspire me and give me something to focus on this week, as opposed to freaking out about the silly little things. I think it's helped! This, along with my Mum's new mantra; One life, live it (oh and some Fleetwood Mac) has got me through the week feeling good.

Today feels like the first day of Autumn, I think I heard somewhere that it actually is. I'm quite looking forward to the next part of the year; snuggly jumpers, the return of super Saturday night tele and new season boots (that's the KG influence). This time last year I was having such a good time working, drinking. I plan to do the same thing this year in the run up to Christmas. Oh and I plan to do it skinny - I've rejoined weight watchers, it's time to shift those extra 14 pounds (that's another blog post which I coincidently have saved in my drafts). 

I didn't tell you about last weekend. Last weekend felt like the good ol' days; Saturday night in The Rose, Sunday afternoon après Rose chats with the girls in The Pub. I loved it. Perhaps that's why I'm looking forward to the next part of the year, perhaps the weather reminds me of all the fun I had last year. Ah well, whatever it is, it's feeling good. 

I've got that Friday feeling

It's Friday lunchtime and I cannot wait for 5:30. If only you could bottle that Friday feeling; the weekend ahead, a couple of lay ins, some boozy evenings...

I'm looking forward to a weekend at home. The last two I have been nipping about the country; the west, then the east. This weekend I plan not to go outside a 5 mile radius of Bedford.

I have so much housework to catch up on, it's been niggling at me all week. You know me and my OCD tendencies. I pretty much flipped out at my mum last night when she commented on the state of my cupboard under the sink;
"This needs a tidy under here darling. It could do with a wipe out too..."
"Mum! I know! It's freaking me out, DO NOT MENTION IT!"

I am also getting my hair coloured - probably in my top five of favorite things to do. I love sitting there waiting for your new hair to develop, flicking through a magazine and a cuppa tea, dreaming about the wild transformation about to happen. Only it never is a transformation for me; standard blonde highlights and a trim please.

Saturday night I'm planning a return to The Rose. I haven't been in weeks. It seems such a long time ago that myself and the girls were regulars there (and in the pizza shop afterwards too). I'm going to get my wine on and maybe even my Jaegerbomb. Oh, I need to get my flirt on too. I think I've forgotten how. Hey, maybe I should get my snog on! I think I can just about remember how to do that...

Will catch up all up on Monday.

P.s. I need your help! Please follow me on twitter @shelsdiaryblog to be read my latest posts.

The Married Wing-Woman and A Lovely Weekend

Well, what a fabulously civilised weekend I have just indulged in. One of my Uni girls came down from Liverpool to stay with me, Friday through to Sunday. Over the last few years we have made sure to book in these fun filled weekends, full of catching up over wine and delicious food, at least every three months. This weekend was no exception.

This weekend's activities involved wine, cheese, picnics, gastro pubs and cream teas. Yes, that's right. I know how to show my guests at Maison de Bush (that's a little private joke) a bloody good time!

Obviously I couldn't keep up the fancy pretence all weekend. There were a few moments of harsh Bedford reality; the obligatory Jaegerbombs in The Rose on Saturday night for one (it would be rude not to) and a particularly hairy moment where we had to relieve ourselves in the toilets of a MacDonald's. Well, even the posh folks pee right?

I had such a good weekend that I felt like I was back on holiday. It's funny what lazing in the sun and drinking in the day can do for you.

This weekend I also learnt a very good lesson. I learnt the importance of a married wing-woman. I'm sure you all remember the secret talents of my engaged BFF (let's just say she had sand in the strangest of places for days). Well, she now has stiff competition in the shape of my married BFF.

The thing about having a wing-woman who is spoken for is that when the moment of the ring is revealed, you (or in this case, I) become the centre of pulling attention of the boys in question. All their pulling energy gets focused on you and you pretty much have the pick of the bunch. It's like luring in shoppers with plenty of choice on the shelves then telling them, just at the point of purchase, that one of the items is not for sale. Am I good at marketing or what?!

And it worked. Saturday night we got talking to two lots of guys in two different bars. Obviously I was in there with my opening lines; 'Excuse me guys, are you drinking here all night?' (Ok, not my best) and also; 'Oh no! Has that guy over there just been sick?' (I did say there were a few moments of harsh, drunk reality). I spent the second half of the night deep in convo with a really nice Bedfordian fellow. Turns out Kim isn't the only one to have found a decent fella on a night out in town. Much to my dismay there a few good'uns out there.

So this has all left me contemplating the importance of getting away and breaking the routine. Life is certainly not all about work and doing the same things day in, day out. I think for quite some time I have been all about the routine.

It occurred to me today that perhaps my priorities have been all twisted these last few years. Perhaps work shouldn't be my priority, perhaps I should be. This week my happiness is my focus. I am going to do the things that make me happy, the things that I want to do and basically, screw everyone else!

Getting back on the horse

So I need to get back out there. If not to give my hugely dented ego a little boost but to also give myself some hope of there actually being someone decent out there for me. This time however I am approaching things differently. Firstly I am not doing any chasing whatsoever; if he's bothered he'll come my way, I am not twisting anyone elses arm into liking me. Secondly I am keeping a lid on my expectations; no day dreaming of what our wedding would be like five minutes into the first date and no hope of anything turning into something. I am taking these boys for exactly what they are, I am completely going with the flow.

So I have three potentials. When I say potentials I do literally mean potential dates, not boyfriends, not lovers and certainly not future husbands. What I really want right now is a nice evening and some nice conversation. That's it. Full stop. I don't even want any funny business. The thought of all that... ugh. Not bothered whatsoever.

Anyway, so these three potentials...

Mr Double Date
This is an interesting one. One of the girls has just started seeing this lovely new boy who she met out in town (yes, it happens, decent men can be found in The Rose! I know, I know and I was biggest skeptic...). Thing is with lovely boys is that they tend to have lovely friends, or so my friend has led me to believe. I have met him a few times already, but both times I or he was majorly under the influence of alcohol (most probably Jaegermeister). But, these drunken meetings haven't put either of us off. A double date is booked in for this week. I promise to keep you in the loop.

Mr Friends Brother
I know, this never ends well. That's the reason my friend has been fighting this for quite some time, but I am doing my no expectations thing remember? He's single, I'm single, whats the harm in a little drink and a chit chat? It's quite nice to talk to someone new and get to know someone else. My friend has supposedly passed on my number so we'll see.

Mr Suger Daddy
Right, so this one is so unlike me. But this dude is an actual man, like a fully grown adult, interesting no? I really don't fancy him but I'm interested. He's a really good talker and a really good listener. And what do I like best after wine and food? Talking of course! We would get on like a house on fire. Plus he's a man, he would most probably do all the chasing, the planning, the organising - that sounds great right? No thinking about where I should meet him or what time. Actually that sounds amazing, perhaps that should be the third thing I do differently this time around in all this dating business; no organising.

Obviously I am still majorly in love with Mr CBA, I dreamt he came running back to me the other night. Ha, I am bonkers. But I know I need to get over this now. I've reached the point where I realise this is not good for me, I need to start feeling good about myself again and I think going on a few dates and meeting some new boys could help with that. As I said above I am not actively seeking out any of this, I am letting fate work its magic, what will be.

I have a good excuse... promise!

Sincere apologies for my absence over the last week or so. I have been majorly swept away with all the Christmas festivities; work parties, lots of shopping, putting up my decs. I suppose you could also blame my absence on the completion of my Christmas Misson. Yep, that's right, I completed my mission to snog my crush and things are actually going quite well. I'm a bit reluctant to write about this one though. Firstly, I don't want to jump the gun (you know me, all or nothing) and secondly, what if he saw this?! Massive red face for me. I will give you some juice though, I've just got to be sketchy.

Blondie is doing well with her Christmas Mission. Even though we still need to clarify what exactly we meant by 'action' she is well into lot's of text-flirting with a boy from work. With her Christmas party happening this Saturday night, the term 'action' might have a very different meaning - here's hoping.

KK is very surprisingly struggling with her Christmas Mission to pull Italian Stallion. She was out last weekend but he wasn't. Good job though, she has since told me she was 'too drunk for the game anyway'. KK is on babysitting duties for her niece this weekend and therefore cannot accompany us to The Rose (which is open until 4 this Saturday night - absolute Rose 'till close). This means her only opportunity to complete her Christmas Mission will be next weekend. No pressure or anything KK.

So you want to know more about my crush? Well I'll give you a little juice. He is very cute, I am being very cool as a cucumber and we've been out a few times. We'll see, we'll see...

Game free? Well almost

So where were you at six o'clock on Saturday night when I SOS text KK and Blondie;
Seriously, this family/baby shindig really isn't my scene. I'm guna have to get wasted tonight

I was mid family get-together, where conversation revolved around dirty nappies, X Factor and boring married life. This was when I could even hold a conversation over all the screaming children. I have nothing in common with these people, someone please ask me about something normal. You know, what my thoughts are on the new Marvelle baby announcement perhaps or what my preference is; Brazilian or Hollywood.

Therefore, I am sure you will agree that I had no choice but to rush home as soon as I could, swing by Tesco for a bottle of Chardonnay and down two thirds of it before the girls were even round. By 1130 I happily found myself at the bar in the Rose ordering the second round of Jaegerbombs.

I did quite good Monday to Wednesday. I did actually feel like a hermit at the beginning of the week; work, home, bed, work, home, bed and so on. Thursday night I was working, that cannot be helped and also, I sort of get paid to flirt with the boys so that's fine. By Friday I was knackered but was seeing Mr Robbie Williams at the O2 so obviously made the effort. By the time Saturday came I felt like I needed the comforting crowds of The Rose; I feel at home in my towering heels with a face full of makeup and a belly full of wine.

I had quite good game too actually. I was full of confidence and got talking to some good looking boys, striking up conversation about the length of time they spent blow-drying their immaculate barnets. When KK suggested Embassy (think Save the Last Dance but with a lower ceiling and lots of blue strobe lighting) I thought it was a fabulous idea!

And it was. I had a really good night. Do you know why? I couldn't have cared less. I wasn't bothered about trying to look good or making the eyes across the crowded dance floor. Screw it. Screw them! If they are interested let them make the move.

This sort of brings me on to a little bit of boy gossip; this one I think I actually like a little but I have to tread very carefully - the ones I like never work out. Therefore I am going to keep it very vague, in the hope to save my embarrassment when it doesn't work out. I am getting very mixed signals of off one boy; clear IOIs one minute then nothing the next. I am confused. My game knowledge is causing even more confusion, therefore I am continuing to play it cool. Will keep you posted here. It's still very early days.

Going on Game Va-kay

So I had a fairly event free weekend. We went out in to town on Saturday night, making it the tenth weekend in a row we have inhabited The Rose and had the obligatory weekend Jaegerbomb. I wasn't really feeling it though. I don't think any of us were.

Blondie spent Saturday-day at some family do, always a drain on the emotions. KK started the evening at an Ann Summers party then met up with an old gal pal, aka The Ultimate FPUA. We met up with KK at about 11, she was well on her way to drunk, however by 1:30 myself and Blondie were in the taxi home, armed with a footlong subway and a big-long rant about our favourite subject - boys. Sunday KK visited me at work looking a little down; she appeared to have the same attitude towards the night as me.

I don't know why we have all had a change of heart. There was FB inbox chat about the Game having beaten us, but I like to look upon it like we are just taking a holiday. I think I need a rest from the boy-thing, time to chill-out and not obsess about my next move or his. I feel like I need a little time to re-coup, slow down and do a little me time. I can't say I am not going to flirt - it appears I have become a natural at this, but I am not seeking boys out, texting or FB chatting. Nope, boy-free zone. Instead, this week I will mainly be; writing my Christmas cards, watching Home and Away and ironing.God knows where I will get my inspiration from to write this.

I have even decided not to go out next weekend. Asides from the feeling no game thing I think it might be good for the bank balance too, not least forgetting my liver. Perhaps a few quiet weekends will do wonders for our game, perhaps the next time we go to the Rose all our game super powers will have mounted up and we will have the most amazingly successful night.

I might need to ask a favour of you? Next Saturday night, at about 11, can you make sure I'm not in a taxi heading into town?

Game vs. no game

I meant to post this on Saturday but I think I was too shamed to finish the post, but here goes anyway. Be warned, please do not judge me...

Last night's antics are definitely worth a post. As usual Blondie and KK came and sat at the bar with a bottle of wine whilst I attempted to work at the pub. Whilst starting on their second bottle the idea of a spontaneous night out was discussed. My little brain went into overdrive; what time could I finish work? How would the girls get home? What the hell was I going to wear?

At 1030 I signed off my beer pulling duties and bundled the girls into my car. I sped home, stopping off at KK's and Blondie's to pick up heels and handbags. By 1130 we were in town.

To start with it was quite refreshing to be in town sober. Obviously it was a bit trickier to walk in the gigantic heels but it was quite interesting observing the drunk ones with a little bit of sober-smugness.

After swinging by the bar on our way in we headed to the dance floor. When I say the dance floor in the Rose I mean a tiny postage stamp sized raised area, crammed with drunk perverts and lots of 18 year old girls. Pretty much straight away I spotted DW but being sober I was quite clear headed about the whole situation. After his ignoring-me-but-saying-hello-to-the-girls move I smiled and waved, he responded by sticking his tongue out at me. Later, Blondie said this definitely was a sign that he wanted to do me.

Meanwhile, KK spotted that Jordan guy from last week. He came over at one point and attempted to get her attention by tapping her on the shoulder, KK completely ignored him. KK has great game. We boogied for a bit, KK kept insisting DW couldn't stop staring at my bum, a drunk Blondie completely oblivious to anything that was going on.

I was determined not to go up to him but his game is just too good. After a while I found myself alone on the dance floor so of course I headed over. Now, I think I am pretty quick witted and good with the banter, but oh no, not with him. I actually think he out witted me and that very rarely happens. After some flirty chit chat during which he referred to my knockers he gestured to the bar and said he was off to find his friends. Awkward.

A bit later on and back on the dance floor I found myself talking to a couple of other guys (not at the same time obviously, although that would demonstrate amazing game). The first guy started up convo by telling me I was 'a very confident women', something which I really wasn't feeling last night and the other confessed within the first 3 seconds of meeting him that he was 35 and had two children. Both these guys had no confidence and no game whatsoever, and of course I was just not interested. Thing is both guys were cute but cute just does not cut it, its gotta be hot!

In my vodka fuelled hazed I actually thought how ironic this situation was; I was like these two game-less men when it came to DW. I don't even know what's so great about him anyway, as KK pointed out he has an odd shaped nose. It's his game that I found myself totally attracted to.

Armed with a very false sense of confidence I marched straight up to DW, grabbed his arm and spun him round and said... nothing. He looked at me blankly and quite politely gestured that he hadn't heard me. Still I stood there and said nothing. Oh the shame. After about 3/4 minutes of this very awkward encounter (in front of all of his friends may I add) he said; "I'm just going for a piss, is this alright?". Oh it just got worse. I gestured something along the lines of "Oh yea, that's fine" and slunk off red faced back to the girls.

I tired telling my by now very drunk FPUA all about what had just happened but it wasn't really sinking in, so for dramatic effect I finished my story to them with "I just want to kill myself". Give me some credit though, I had the balls to stay until the end of the night and I avoided the drunk trip to the takeaway.

Saturday, I got to thinking about this game malarkey. It is so interesting. DW pulled many a Neil Straus move on me. Firstly he negged me; talking to both the girls but not me, then he did the trick of walking away for me to follow and quite obviously his best move was to completely ignore me to the point of which I think it is a fantastic idea to approach him first. Thing is, myself and my fellow FPUAs are unsure what now to do with our new fountain of knowledge. Do we play into the hands of these guys and their PUA skills, after all we are all after the same outcome or do we do the complete opposite and throw them off their game but risk missing out on an opportunity with this guy. The jury is still out. Perhaps we need to road test our options next weekend.

I am not going to lie. My game confidence took a little bit of a knock on Friday night and I was feeling a little battered. I had said to the girls that I was going to lay off it for a while whilst I restored my ego, but I found myself displaying amazing game at the pub yesterday. Don't they say your supposed to get right back on the horse?

Super Saturday

My Saturday evening usually goes like this; wine, Strictly, shower, tan, wine, The Rose, vodka, dance floor, boys, Jager, boys, probably a bit more Jager, pizza shop, pjs, drunken chit chat with the girls with a lot of belly laughing. This weekend did not disappoint.

Saturday night we dressed up as Superhero's, not just to look fit in skin tight spandex and super long eyelashes, but to also celebrate a friends birthday. After all the obvious characters got shotgunned on the event's Facebook wall, I decided on the Black Widow, aka Scarlett Johanson. I know what your thinking, clearly an obvious choice. 

By 8 on Friday I was looking hot, or so my fellow FPUAs lead me to believe. I had squeezed myself into my Primark skin tight wet look leggings, teamed with matching peplum top and shiny red wig. I am not going to lie, kinda felt a bit like a Kardashian. Again, I blame the girls for this false confidence, oh and vodka.

I actually bumped into DW whilst at our favourite bar. I didn't physically bump into him, in fact I actually played it cool, that was until aloof looked kinda rude and I had to say hi. After the usual 'Hello, how are you...blah blah blah' he proceeded to tell me was involved in a dance off with a blonde girl. As one of the girls said; he was always a bit wierd.

During our Sunday morning de-brief over my now infamous breakfast baps, one of the girls added a new boy to our already extensive repertoire of nicknames. 'Jabber' joined the likes of 'Ticktac Teeth', 'Italian Chris', 'Rose Boy' and 'TT'. Good work girls :)

Xx

For all abbreviations see my cheat list